I am the little girl........Part 3

I am the little girl who is loving life, even in the storms.
I am the little girl who has BIG dreams AGAIN.
I am the little girl who has moved alot.
I am the little girl who believes we are in places for a season.
I am the little girl with every move has taken something positive with it.
I am the little girl who has been freed and healed from all the molestation.
I am the little girl whose life has been changed because of God.
I am the little girl who has learned to put God first in my life.
I am the little girl that God loves unconditionally.
I am the little girl who is so glad that I am NOT who I was years ago.
I am the little girl who God healed in every area of my life.
I am the little girl who God is still working on things in my life.
I am the little girl who has overcome her past and still working on things.
I am the little girl wo is no longer afraid.
I am the little girl whose life is an open book.
I am the little girl who loves to minister to others.
I am the little girl who prays for her family and friends daily.
I am the little girl who still struggles with things, but thanks God for giving me the strength to overcome.
I am the little girl whose kids do not like that I have set boundaries for myself.
I am the little girl whose kids do not always agree with things that I do.
I am the little girl who will not allow others to walk all over her AGAIN.
I am the little girl who loves all 9 of our kids unconditionally, regardless of their feelings for me from time to time.
I am the little girl with peace in her heart.
I am the little girl who does not care what other people think when I share the good,bad, ugly and things I do not wat to share of my past.
I am the little girl who God said to share those things.
I am the little girl who is real, and if everyone is honest with themselves, know that they have things like that in their life too.
I am the little girl who is stepping out of denial and into God's grace.
I am the little girl who has recovered from her past hurts and failures.
I am the little girl dancing and singing in the living room PRAISING GOD!!
I am the little girl who has been healed by His stripes.
I am the little girl thanking God for all of His blessings.
GLORY BE TO GOD!!!
I am the little girl thanking

I was the little girI................Part 2

I was the little girl who was looking for love in all the wrong places.
I was the little girl who was lost in this big world.
I was the little girl who was confused.
I was the little girl who kept all things to herself.
I was the little girl who almost got molested AGAIN.
I was the little girl who had so much anger.
I was the little girl who lost all dreams.
I was the little girl who wanted to run and never come back.
I was the little girl having a baby.
I was the little girl caught up in an abusive relationship.
I was the little girl who got her heart broke time and time again.
I was the little girl who left so many times, but always went back.
I was the little girl walking down the aisle for the wrong reasons.
I was the little girl who aborted a baby.
I was the little girl who could not deal with the pain of what she did.
I was the little girl drinking and partying to kill the pain.
I was the little girl who left again.
I was the little girl trying to move on without him.
I was the little girl who faught to keep her daughter.
I was the little girl sitting in jail.
I was the little girl feeling all alone and nobody to turn to.
I was the little girl so scared and confused.
I was the little girl trying to get my little girl back.
I was the little girl who went back, because I was too afraid and scared to fight any more.
I was the little girl who just wanted to be loved.
I was the little girl who wanted to feel important.
I was the little girl getting high and living for herself.
I was the little girl who tried to bury the paint AGAIN.
I was the little girl getting hit.
I was the little girl being put down.
I was the little girl who thought she was not worthy of anything.
I was the little girl who was sick and tired of being mistreated.
I was the little girl who left for good.
I was the little girl who made alot of foolish mistakes.
I was the little girl who never got counsel for all the pain and hurt inside.
I was the little girl carrying all this baggage everywhere she went.
I was the little girl who lost her daughter.
I was the little girl who was tricked again.
I was the little girl walking down the aisle again.
I was the little girl who was happy.
I was the little girl enjoying life again.
I was the little girl who thought she had finally seen the light.
I was the little girl who was back in church again.
I was the little girl who had another baby.
I was the little girl whose family fell apart again.
I was the little girl who had to make the hardest decision ever.
I was the little girl who put her son in a Christian home for troubled teens.
I was the little girl scared again and afraid.
I was the little girl sitting in the counselors office going through her past after 36 years of pain and hurt.
I was the little girl going through a Celebrate Recovery class.
I was the little girl going to Christian parenting classes every week for almost 3yrs.
I was the little girl who was in Christian counseling every week for almost 3yrs.
I was the little girl clinging to the throne.
I was the little girl praying for her family.
I was the little girl finally telling the family of all the molestion.
I was the little girl finally getting freed.
I was the little girl finally getting healed from old wounds.
I was the little girl putting all her faith in God.
I was the little girl pouring her heart out week after week.
I was the little girl feeling the relief, that I was not alone.

I was the little girl.......Part 1

I was the little girl with golden blonde curly hair and a big smile.
I was the little girl who loved to play dress up in her mom and sisters clothes.
I was the little girl who loved being with her family.
I was the little girl who loved being at her grandparents house.
I was the little girl who had big dreams at such a young age.
I was the little girl who cried when we moved away.
I was the little girl who was lost in the world of moving from place to place.
I was the little girl who waited for her mom to get out of bed each day.
I was the little girl who saw her mom and dad hit each other.
I was the little girl who saw her mom throw the wedding ring off the balcony.
I was the little girl who ran down the stairs and searched the grass for it.
I was the little girl who her mom took with her to her boyfriends house.
I was the little girl waiting at lunch for my mom to show, and she never did.
I was the little girl who saw my dad barge into my moms boyfriends apartment.
I was the little girl who was sexually molested at an early age.
I was the little girl who her mom did not want when she left her dad.
I was the little girl who skipped school at an early age.
I was the little girl with no school supplies.
I was the little girl who the kids picked on.
I was the little girl who hated school.
I was the little girl who washed her clothes in the kitchen sink with dish soap.
I was the little girl who ate dinner at night with the landlady.
I was the little girl who was scared and alone.
I was the little girl who did not understand why all the blue lights were in her yard.
I was the little girl who got sent to stay with church friends for the night.
I was the little girl who saw the blood spots on the kitchen floor.
I was the little girl who went to church with no shoes.
I was the little girl who did not understand the grown up world.
I was the little girl whose mom disappeared.
I was the litte girl with her dad and sister back together.
I was the little girl thinking life was getting better.
I was the little girl who moved again.
I was the little girl who fell off the bike and rushed to the hospital.
I was the little girl whose mom could not be found.
I was the little girl who was in ICU.
I was the little girl waiting for her dad to fly home from New York.
I was the little girl scared while her mom was in a bar drunk.
I was the little girl who was molested again.
I was the little girl who moved to live with her grand parents.
I was the little girl who was finally happy.
I was the little girl who was loved unconditionally by her grandmother.
I was the little girl who made friends.
I was the little girl who was finally stable.
I was the little girl whose mom was far away and hardly contacted me.
I was the little girl with dreams again.
I was the little girl square dancing.
I was the little girl going to church.
I was the little girl learning what family really was.
I was the little girl enjoying her life.
I was the little girl learning to bake and cook.
I was the little girl learning to plant a garden.
I was the little girl learning how to can and freeze food from the garden.
I was the little girl who went fishing.
I was the little girl who was molested again.
I was the little girl who moved back home again.
I was the little girl struggling in school and making friends.
I was the little girl who had to wear a back brace for scolosis.
I was the little girl wondering why this was happening.
I was the little girl who became an aunt.
I was the little girl who loved her little neice.
I was the little girl who moved again.
I was the little girl who had a new family now.
I was the little girl with two step brothers.
I was the little girl with a new step mom.
I was the little girl with new grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
I was the little girl whose mom killed herself.
I was the little girl who kept to herself.
I was the little girl who never got counseling in dealing with death of a parent.
I was the little girl who never told of any of the molestation.
I was the little girl nobody understood.
I was the little girl who stayed isolated at home and locked in her room.
I was the little girl who didn't want to be bothered.
I was the little girl who was trying to figure it all out.

What if I gave???

Our pastor preached on this Sunday, and I just had to share this with all of you.

Judges 3:15-30 NIV

One of the points that was made was this:

When you give nothing,
you can expect nothing,
and you'll have nothing.

What if I gave God my heart?
What if I gave God my problems?
What if I gave God my hang ups?
What if I gave God my family?
What if I gave God my finances?
What if I gave God my worship?
What if I gave God something to work with?

We are only hurting ourselves when we don't give to God.

Focus on God in the Storms

I just wanted to share this with everyone. As we were traveling to Florida for work/vacation, it took us 20 long hours. The van camper we were delivering kept breaking down on us, we had no a/c, and did not discover that until we got in Georgia. I had two little ones and our two dogs with us. Then on top of all the trouble to get to our destination, it started storming. It was raining so hard, lighting, and thundering. I do not like those kinds of storms at all. Then as I am driving down I-95 Florida bound, I remembered what our Pastor had said that Sunday. That during our storms we need to not focus on the problems (no a/c, whinning babies, two hot dogs, and the van breaking down), but to focus on HIM in the storm, and He will show you the light at the end of the tunnell. So, I was like ok, God, I am looking straight ahead, as I was driving over the bridges, could not see the car in front of me, and driving towards the lighting bolts. I am focosing on YOU LORD,not my circumstances right now, please get me to the end of this storm safely. Before you knew it the skies opened up and I saw the light past the strom we were driving in. I remind myself of that daily now, that things will work out and not focus on the problem, but focus on God.

A Hunger for God

The church we went to in Raleigh NC, the pastor does a blog and with his permission I am posting this from his blog.......be blessed.........



Friday, May 29, 2009

A Hunger for His Presence
Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy (1 Corinthians 14:1). Dear brothers and sisters, be patient as you wait for the Lord's return. Consider the farmers who patiently wait for the rains in the fall and in the spring. They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen (James 5:7- NLT) Ask the Lord for rain in the time of the latter rain. The Lord will make flashing clouds; He will give them showers of rain, Grass in the field for everyone (Zechariah 10:1).I want to bear my heart to you today. I have been baptized with the Holy Spirit now for thirty two years and eight months. When I was first Spirit-filled, there was a great outpouring of the Spirit on the denominational world. A genuine hunger for God was evident. The Charismatic movement was in full manifestation. In the church I attended after being Spirit-baptized, the Holy Spirit would manifest time and time again in the services. Those oppressed by demons would cry out in the service due to the manifest presence of God! Many, many were born again and Spirit-filled. It’s the closest thing to revival that I’ve ever personally been a part of. I long for that again! As Kenneth Hagin said many years ago, Once you get a taste of the Spirit of God, nothing else can satisfy. Now, thirty plus years later, it seems as though we’ve become sated and satisfied. The intense hunger is not what it once was (I’m speaking in generalities here). We’re saturated with teaching, with vibrant Christian music in every genre imaginable. Charismatic churches have sprung up everywhere! Christian programming is abundant on TV and radio, and now the internet is filled with religious content, if you want it! This is wonderful. But, my heart craves the Presence! It craves the deep moving of the Holy Spirit that creates a Holy hush and a deep, penetrating conviction of heart. In the first Bible School I attended, scheduled between some of our classes we would have a devotional time of worship with someone then sharing a scripture. Many times, the Holy Spirit would settle upon us while we were worshipping, and, before you know it, the whole class was prostrate on the floor while the deep, penetrating Presence of a Holy God swept over us. The Holy hush of the moment deeply affect all us former hippies and drug addicts! God was working on us inside and talking to each of us personally in these moments about motives, attitudes, and habits of the flesh and mind. He was moving us towards Himself and creating change deep within.The Father wants these corporate moments with us now where His Presence supersedes everything! Are we willing to change to foster this? The challenge I have is that I preach three services every single weekend because we’ve outgrown our facility. I have to be careful of the children’s workers who are in the back, and of time in general, especially on Sunday mornings. All the while, the Father wants to woo us into deep, heartfelt times of intimacy.Let me suggest some things. If you attend Victory Fellowship, or really, regardless of where you attend church, begin now to cry out for more of God! Ask Him to create in you a hunger for Himself that eclipses everything else in life. Ask Him to breed in you dissatisfaction with everything in your life that has become a spiritual weight. Then, ask the Father to manifest His heavy, weighty, Holy Presence among us in our church services. The truth is, when He shows up in this way, nothing else matters.If you’re attending a church that is not open to the moving of the Spirit, find one that is! If you attend Victory, cry out with me for an all encompassing move of God among us that cuts through the surface things and reaches the heart! As the beginning scripture says, Ask the Lord for rain in the time of the latter rain. This is asking the Lord for a fresh moving of His Spirit! Then, before you attend a church service, prepare your heart. Get up early enough, or get away enough before a service that you can wait in God’s Presence alone before you come to the church meeting. Ask Him to manifest. Tell Him that you personally long for Him. Ask Him to reveal Himself to each person. Then, wait quietly a while. Then, as you come into the service, expect Him to manifest Himself. I believe He will meet us all in our hunger! Let’s expect Him to do it!
Posted by Pastor Mitch

1 Peter 5:6-11

1 Peter 5:6-11 NIV

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. AMen.

God is able and willing to bless us according to his timing. Humbly obey God regardless of present circumstances, and in his good time either in this life or in the next he will lift you up. Carrying your worries, stresses and daily struggles by yourself shows that you have not trusted God fully with your life. It takes humility, however, to recognize that God cares, to admit your need, and to let others in God's family help you. Sometimes we think that struggles caused by our own sin and foolishness are not God's concern. But when we turn to God in repentance, he will beat the weight even of those struggles. Letting God have your anxieties calls for action, not passivity. Don't submit to circumstances, but to the Lord who controls circumstances.

Lions attack sick, young and straggling animals, they choose victims who are alone or not alert. Peter warns us to watch out for Satan when we are suffering or being persecuted. Feeling alone, weak, helpless, and cut off from other believers, so focused on our troubles that we forget to watch out for danger, we are especially vulnerable to Satan's attacks. During times of suffering, seek other Christians for support. Keep your eyes on Christ, and resist the devil. Then says James "he will flee from you" ( James 4:7)

When we are suffering , we often feel as though our pain will never end. Peter gave these faithful Christians the wider perspective, in comparison with eternity, their suffering would last only "a little while". Some of Peter's readers would be strengthened and delivered in their own lifetimes. Others would be released form their suffering through death. All of God's faithful followers are assured eternal life with Christ where there will be no suffering. (Rev. 21:4)

The time is coming......

God has been preparing me and my heart for what is about to happen for several years now. God has taken me back through my past and has healed me from so many things. During this time I have been through alot and learned alot. I went through a Celerate Recovery Class and then ended up teaching the Celebrate Recovery class with my husband. Along with counseling and parenting classes at the Christian Home for Troubled teens where my son was for several years. I had the most amazing counselor, he helped our marriage and with healing of old wounds. He is an amazing man of God. I told my story of my life to the group of ladies in the class that I was teaching. It was very hard because I was opening my whole life up to be judged by them. I shared with them the good, bad, ugly and the things you do not want anyone to know about you. God had put it in my heart to share that because I really wanted these ladies to experience the freeing God can do from your past.......the healing that He can do, no matter your past. I wanted them to get real in their recovery process and I had to be bold and go first. When I did that it opened up doors and they got it. I was still a work in progress and I felt like God wanted me to do a Bible study group at home with some ladies from church. But I had never been to a bible study before what do I know about doing one. But because I was working on things of my past and feeling more and more alive I wanted to share that and help others experience the same freedom from the bondage. I had so many different ideas of what I wanted to do and things to say, but I never pursued it. Then we moved and I had to change churches and I did not know anyone, so how could I have womens group and I did not know anyone. Then we moved to Raleigh NC, then we moved to Salem Va, then we ended up back in Florida because our house flooded. I was staying with a lady that would never come to our class and I wanted to reach out and a few others that had left the church, and I had heard of Breaking Free by Beth Moore, and I thought I was suppose to get some ladies I knew and do that study. But not only was it too expensive for me to buy at the time, I did not have that kind of time and weeks to spend in Florida to do that. So I just forgot about it. Then I was blessed to spend some time with an old dear friend and go to church with her family and fellowship with her. Then something told me, maybe it was there in Augsusta I was suppose to do this, but what can I do in a day, I dont live here and I can't stay for weeks to do an actual study. I just put it in the back of my mind and went on. Then we are back in Virgina getting settled in our new home. I talked with several people and still going through some healing of old wounds that I did not know was there and one night it hit me like a ton of bricks. I finally knew the answer after over 2yrs of being prepared by God.
It was not the place I thought it was suppose to be, it was not the bible study I thought it should be, it was not with the ladies that I thought it was suppose to be............it is suppose to be in Augusta, my story, with people from my past........................at first I did not know whom I was to invite and still not fully sure of all. These people were a part of my past, but they were not a part of the pain or heart ache. They knew me then, and they know me now or a little bit of me now.
When God is in control things fall in place. My plan.......said "ok, Augusta, ok ladies, NO WAY TO THE SUBJECT"..............some know part of my story, some know none, and alot I have never ever told. There is healing when we bring those things out of the dark and expose them to the light. The more you tell the more healing. God has not called us all to go public with our life story. But if he calls you do to it, you better get prepared.

Proverbs 13:20 NIV

Proverbs 13:20 NIV
He who walks with wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Since you can not please everyone, you are better off trying to please God. You make choices, and pretty soon those choices begin to shape your life. That's why you must make smart choices......or face the consequences of making dumb ones.

It is hard to walk away from old friends, old habits for the fear of being alone. Once you have made up your mind that you would rather "WALK WITH GOD", instead of walking in the flesh. Some people will not get you. They will put you down, because they knew you when. Have no fear, for God has forgiven us our sins, and remembers them no more. You may change everything about the way you live and they will not understand or think you are using God or church as a crutch. Do not be discouraged my friends. Once we make a choice to put "GOD FIRST" in everything in our lives things will take form. We need to be spiritually full and God will walk along side of you during the storm.

I know my old friends and people in my past, say "she has not changed" and some will say "she has not changed". There are those who still can push my buttons and steal my joy. But like a friend said " don't let them steal your joy, they didn't give it to you". How true is that? I am still a work in progress and God is opening my eyes to so many things. Right now in this season of my life, God is taking me back to places I never wanted to go back, but in the process I am being healed from old wounds,things and people I never thought I would have to see or deal with again. Healing me in areas of my life that I did not even know I needed healing from. He is using me and my "life experiences" to minister to others, especially the ones in my past.

It is so wonderful an awesome to hear and see so many people have turned their lives over to God. Praise you Jesus for that. I know life is hard at times especially when you are wanting to change and others want to stay right where they are and have been for years. I encourage you all to cling to God's promises and he will bless you. When you are low and down and out call out to him, talk to him, tell him the desires of your heart.

I pray for each and everyone of you. I will be in much prayer for all of my friends and their needs. There is so much prayer that needs to happen. Just pray, pray, like the saying goes.......PUSH........pray until something happens.

Be blessed me friends.....

Remember this....

When you say, "I can't do this or I can't solve this",

God tells you, " I will direct your pateh". Proverbs 3:5-6



When you say, " I don't know how to go on",

God tells you, " I will show you the path". Psalms 32:8

Are you weary and burdened?

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

A yoke is a heavy wooden harness that fits over the shoulders of an ox or oxen. It is attached to a piece of equipment the oxen are to pull. A person may be carrying heavy burdens of (1) sin (2) excessive demands of religious leaders (3) oppression and persecution or (4) weariness in the search for God.

Jesus frees people from all these burdens. The rest that Jesus promises is love, healing and peace with God, not the end of all labor. A relationship with God changes meaningless, wearisome toil into spiritual productivity and purpose.

Getting Even??

1 Thessalonians 5:15
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

1 Thessalonians 5:22
Avoid every kind of evil.

Ephesians 4:29-32
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

This is the one that summons it all up the best. I know it is so hard to hold your tongue when you feel someone has wronged you. We are going through a situation right now concerning our in laws and ex's. Its really hard when they push your buttons and use your children to get to you. It is sad when this happens.

Be careful in how you handle yourself. Watch your words, hit your knees and give the situation to God.

Romans 12: 17-21
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written, " It is mine to avenge: I will repay, says the Lord. On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him,
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink,
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Not Easily Broken

Last night my husband and I watched that movie, Not Easily Broken. If you have not seen it, be prepared to cry and be touched in so many different ways. I will not give away the movie to those who have not seen it. Life can throw some blows and it seems if there is no way out. I know our family has been through so much in the past year. We are in Raleigh NC right now, we getting some of our things out of storage and heading to our new place in Virginia. We were actually living here this time last year without a dime to our name. We were so broke we could not "pay" attention. Our church helped us with some things, a friend helped us with some bills. It was our "Faith" that kept us from falling totally apart. Even though things did not work out in this town for us, we found an amazing church and learned so much and I still stay connected to that. We have our own motorhome now and doing well working for our selves now. God has brought us a long long way since this time last year.
I really am so blessed to have such an amazing husband and he is also my best friend. He is an amazing father as well.
Neither of us are perfect, but we try to do our best and change those nasty generational curses that our families bring us. We bind them up in the name of Jesus. We will start a new generation. We will make a difference. We will not be "Easily broken", no matter what this world throws our way.

God is AWESOME!!!

You know sometimes life can just get a hold of you and people can try to tear you down and your relationship with others. People come at you in all directions, doing everything they can to make your life difficult and painful. What hurts me the most is when the people who do this are "CHRISTIANS". That is what really blows my mind. I wonder what Bible are they reading because I know mine says not to do the things that they are doing. Yes, I know that nobody is perfect and we all slip up and make mistakes, but years and years of doing the same thing you have to stop and wonder what their motive is behind the maddess they try to create. It is during that time, I just stop and ask God to protect me from the evil ones and help them see that their ways are wrong. I also pray that God show me areas that I need to change and improve as well. We are to love one another and respect each other, but how we forget to do that when we become angry. Our words are powerful and we really need to watch what we say when we are mad and upset. I know it is hard to do that when people are always trying to pull your family apart or just you as an individual. But that is where boundaries are so important, if it is our family that does this to us, we can still love them, but a distance. Friendships?? well, you have to decide if it is a healthy one or not. We can not divorce our families but we can make boundaries when it comes to them. I have seen and learned over the years that just because we are in church everytime the doors open, does not mean we are living our lives according to the word of God. You can go to counsel all your life but if you do not apply what you learn you will not get healed. Some people still hold grudges about others and still have so much anger towards them and that past relationship. You need to let those things go and let God heal those old wounds, so that you can move forward in God's peace and perfect will for your life.

Spring Break 2009

We had an amazing Spring Break in Florida. We had 6 of our 9 kids. It is tough when we do not have all of our children with us during holidays and family time. But as the children get older we have to adjust to not always having all of them at one time. We started out driving our RV to Virginia to pick up 4 for of our kids. We made a pit stop at the drag strip to see my daughter, Emily, run her first race of the season. She had no clue that we were coming to see her. She drives a jr dragster and I was so amazed watching her shine. We left from there and continued our journey back to Tampa. We had to go see my father in law who was in the hospital. We wanted to take a vacation with the kids but due to father in law being in hospital, we decided to do Busch Garden passes. We had not taken the children to Busch Gardens in almost 7 years when we got married. We would go early in the morning to ride the rides before it got crowded and would have to wait 2hrs to ride one ride. We also took them to the beach and of course they could swim at the pool and they went with me to the gym. We had to cut our time short and head north to get the kids back home for practice they were in the Easter play at their church. They had rehearsal on Saturday night. We went to church with them on Sunday morning. The play was amazing and the kids were incrediable in it. We then took them to see our house we are moving into in May. We also had to finish the gift they got for their mom for her birthday that was during the time they were with us. We had a great visit and even enjoyed talking and being around their mom. It is amazing what God can do in our lives if we allow him.

We thank you Lord for providing the means to have a vacation with our children, for having the money to take care of our bills and all of our financial obligations. We praise You and Worship you Lord.

Ephesians 4:29

Ephesians 4:29 NIV
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Man, this one is hard when someone pushes your buttons or when your child is heading in the wrong direction. You just want to scold them or tell the person off who has offended you. I use to think, why do I have to hold my tongue and not say anything.

I was just sitting here all afternoon trying to write a letter to my 19yr old son who is up North. He has made some bad choices and as a mother I worry about him, then I started beating myself up for where he is and the place he is at in his life right now. Then I got this horrible headache, and I was listening to this song by "December Radio, called Drifter", the words of that song describes my son, and I just cried and cried. Wondering to myself, when God? when is he going to hit rock bottom and understand what he needs to do to turn this all around? I wanted to give him a peace of my mind but at the same time I want to tell him how much I do love him. I love him dearly but do not agree with the choices he has been making. I had to realize I did not make those choices for him. I do not want to beat him down and sound cold. I tore the letter up, and hit my knees and prayed for him. I cried and prayed and cried and prayed. I use to pray for his protection as he was at one point homeless and drifting around. But then it came to me that he is protected by God, but needs to hit rock bottom to come up out of that pit. I pray for whatever it takes Lord to bring him back to you. I decided to try to write this letter again, but to do it according to this scripture. To encourage him and love him as Christ loves me through all of my junk.

Prayer:
Oh Father God, I praise you and worship you with all of my heart. Please forgive me of my sins. I pray for my son, I lift him up to you Lord. I pray for all those parents who have children who are rebelling and just not living the way you would have them. I pray for those teens or even adults Lord that you will do whatever it takes to bring them to you. I pray for the parents to have strength to get through those hard times, to hold fast to this tough love that we must do from time to time, for the kids to have wisdom and open their eyes to be more like you Lord. Help us all to be there for one another and be uplifting and praying for all. Oh, Father God we love you and adore you. Thank you Jesus for all you have done in our lives and all that you have planned for us. Amen.


Lyrics to "Drifter"



I used to have a home
a place I started from
a place to call my own
bright lights and late nights
the devil took me on a midnight ride
left me out in the desert on my own
Now I feel aloneI need a hand to help me find my way back home
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you
lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong
and I've got to get back home to you
sometimes I think about the past the road that I was on
the one that lead me home
I'll walk on another dayI may wonder but I never stray
cause I found out the hard way sin don't pay
Now I feel aloneI need a hand to help me find my way back home
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you
lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong
and I've got to get back home to you
and when I feel the night is closing in
and I can barely breathe the air
I just remember that I've got a friend
who really caresoh who really cares
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you
lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong
and I've got to get back home to you

Prayer

Ephesians 6:18-20 NIV
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospe, for which I am an ambassador in chains.

How can anyone pray on all occasions? One way is to make quick, brief prayers your habitual response to every situation you meet throughout the day. Another way is to order your life around God's desires and teachings so that your very life becomes a prayer. You don't have to isolate yourself from other peope and from daily work in order to pray constantly. You can make prayer your life and your life a prayer while living in a world that needs God's powerful influence. "Praying for all the saints" means praying for all believers in Christ; so pray for the Chirsitans you know and for the church around the world.

Undiscouraged and undefeated, Paul wrote powerful letters of encouragement from prison. Paul did not ask the Ephesians to pray that his chains would be removed, but tha he would continue to speak fearlessly for Christ in spite of them. God can use us in any circumstance to do his will. Even as we pray for a change in circumstances we should also pray that God will accomplish his plan through us right where we are knowing God's eternal purpose for us will help us through the difficult times.

I aslo find myself writing prayer request down for people in a notebook that I carry everywhere. But the one thing that I am trying to do now, is that when someone ask me to pray for them or for someone else to not just say " ok, I will pray for them", but to say " hey, can we both pray for that right now?" and do it right then.

One of the most amazing man of God, that I was honored to meet prayed all the time, and his story is amazing, that would be Pastor Guido, from Metter Ga. You check out his web site, www.guidogardens.com, and order his book. This is how I learned to try to start praying for everything. But as we all know as life starts going and especially with little ones, we forget or get so caught up.

Let us try today to pray for everything and everyone all day long. Be blessed today.

Loving Difficult People

I know that everyone, including myself, have someone in our lives whom we find it extremely hard to love a difficult person, especially when they are a Christian as well. I find it hard to understand, why they do certain things, when I know they are in church every week and they know better. I do realize that we are not perfect but we are to strive to be like Christ. I do not understand how a person in your own family can do all that they can to bring destruction to someone else's life. They say that they love you, but in the same turn constantly time after time do things to bring pain and heartache in your life. We have had to learn to place boundaries, and there are consequences for breaking those boundaries. They may not like them, and they make execuses and try to blame it on something else. But we have to protect our family. Being a part of a blended family makes things even more difficult. There is already so much adjusting and changing and learning, the last thing we need is someone to come in and cause more confusion and disstress. With being a blended family, and it is just that blending families and children from other families, others do not understand why you do things a certain way or try to stir up past things. We have stood our ground and have made it this far. Boundaries in all areas of our life are very important. At times it feels like people all around are trying their hardest to break our marriage apart and our childrens lives apart. We have his, mine and ours. We learned from our first marriages, and we refuse to give up on this one and destroy any other lives. We love each other dearly, and have made it through some really tough storms and we will continue to build our home of the foundation of God, we will not be destroyed.


Boundaries can help us define what are our responsibilities, can save us time and energy,
increase our love for others and save our life. We are commanded in the Bible to have
self-control, not other control. We have to take ownership of certain aspects of our lives
that are own responsibilities. We are expected to take responsibility for our own
behaviors, attitude and feelings. Boundaries help us to live and love better.

Boundaries we need to have:


Skin- we are responsible for our bodies, how we take care of them and protecting them
from others. You are separate from others. You will make choices of what your senses
will see, smell, touch, feel and hear. You will decide how you will treat your body with
food, diet and exercise. Victims of physical and sexual abuse have a difficult time with
this as others have invaded their bodies, doing whatever they wanted.

Words- You can protect yourself with the word “no” to pressure to conform to ungodly
ways or control. We are to confront people in love and not be afraid to say, “No, I will
not participate in that”. Many passages of Scripture urge us to say no to others sinful
treatment of us. (See Matt. 18:15-20). Sometimes people with poor boundaries struggle
with saying “no” because they cherish their relationship with that person more than what
is right or wrong. The Bible warns us against giving to others reluctantly or under
compulsion in 2 Cor. 9:7. It is important to let people know where you stand and give
them a sense of the edges that help to identify you from others.

Truth- Knowing the truth from the Bible about God will help you establish boundaries.
God’s truth is to live in accord which makes for a better life (Ps. 119:2,45). Satan is a
great distorter of truth and reality. We may often justify what we do. Eve started to
justify her behavior and made an entire world fall to sin. Honesty about what you hold
important gives you integrity, loyalty and personal strength.

Distance-The Bible says to flee from Satan. Removing yourself from a situation can help
you maintain boundaries. By separating yourself, you may see things more clearly and
that may lead to a change in your behavior (Matt. 18:17). This may be very necessary in
relationships that are abusive, exploitive or emotionally unstable.

Time- Sometimes we need time away from our children, our job or difficult relationships
to get renewed and work on issues. We should not run from our problems but take time to
get recharged to work on them.

Other People- Many people are taught to say “yes” to every need of each person they
meet. They are taught by their church or family that boundaries are un-biblical, mean or
selfish. We need to be able to prioritize our greatest responsibilities and if we cannot help
someone, direct them to someone that can. We need to set limits on our exposure to
people who are behaving poorly. Scripture is full of admonitions to separate ourselves
from people who are acting in destructive ways. We need to set our own internal limits
that says that despite the act, feeling, desire, or impulse, with God’s help we can have
self-control.

Thoughts- We must own our own thoughts. We need to examine our thoughts and
“whatever is good, think on these things.” We have a responsibility to grow spiritually
and in knowledge. Ps. 119:20. We should clarify our distorted thinking if it doesn’t go
along with the Bible.

Desires-We are not to actively seek our own selfish pleasure. Or desire should not to be
to make ourselves rich, powerful, proud or sexy. We need to know God to know what we
should ask for and “he will give you the desires of your heart. Ps. 37:4.

REMEMBER:
• I have the right to define my own physical boundaries
• I have the right to feel comfortable and safe
• I can do what I need to do to keep myself comfortable and safe
• I have the right to ask, expect and insist that others respect my physical
boundaries.
• I choose to spend my time in places and with people that make me fee
comfortable and safe.
• I can protect myself from unwanted closeness and contact by saying no
• I have the right to determine how and by whom I want to be touched.

RESULTS OF NOT SETTING BOUNDARIES
When we do not develop healthy boundaries in childhood, we set up wrong patterns in
our childhood that can last all of our adulthood. Here are some:
• inability to say no to hurtful people or set limits on hurtful behavior from others
• inability to say no to their own destructive impulses
• inability to hear no from others and respect their limits
• inability to delay gratification to accomplish goals and tasks
• tendency to be attracted to irresponsible or hurtful people and try to fix them
• try to take responsibility for other people’s lives
• become romantically involved with someone you feel sorry for
• has difficulty maintaining closeness with others or a commitment to them
• experiences life as a victim instead of living it
• can be easily manipulated or controlled by others so you won’t “hurt” their feelings\
• can find yourself attracted to those who are irresponsible or hurtful and think you can
‘fix’ them
• have addictions and compulsions
• disorganization and lack of follow-through
• has difficulty being honest with those they are close to
Boundaries can prevent many problems with which many adults struggle.

Being in the presence of God

I have been visiting family and friends for awhile now. The most amazing thing today was being at church with my sister. We have not been to church together since we were little girls. It was the most amazing thing to be in the presence of the Lord with my sister. It is the most amazing thing to see people coming to church that you never thought you would see there. To know that God can change each and everyone of us, if we allow HIM to work in our lives. If we give total control, to HIM. To allow HIM to flow through us and to minister to others. Its amazing to look back at my teen age years and early adult hood, along with my friends, and say I thank God I am not who I was back then. We are dancing and singing in the churches together, praising HIS name and giving Glory and Honor to HIM.

Prayer:
Oh Father God, I just take this time right now, to praise you and worship you. I thank you Lord for all your many blessings that you have given me. Father God forgive me of my sins. Help me to be more like you. I thank you for my family and friends. I thank you for all that you have given me, even in the storms of life. God you are far more bigger than my problems and my circumstances and I give them all to you. I know that you can take care of them, and when I put my hands in it, I make a mess. Watch over each and every one of this week. Guides in the direction that you want us, not where we want to go. Guard our mouths against gossip and wrong doing, send those who are in need of good christian friends, bless those struggling with finances, guard our minds and what we put in them this week, heal the sick this week, bring peace to the broken hearted this week. bless those who are less fortunate than us this week, and use those to minister to others this week. Let us all pray for one another to go that extra mile for someone this week. Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus.....Amen.

Healing Part 6 of 6

The sixth and last aspect of Christ's ministry is "to comfort all who mourn". Mourning is not a pleasant experience in and of itself. Grieving our losses causes us to feel depressed or sad. But this process is a necessary step in healing us from the damages of sin. Jesus promises to be "a very present help in time of trouble" and "a comfort for people who mourn.". In Isaiah, He also promises "to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair". This describes what happens after people complete the grieving process, they begin to live again. They are able to feel joy (gladness). Their countenance changes (beauty) because they feel better and have been released from stress caused by buried emotions. They want to give praise to their God.

Healing Part 5 of 6

The fifth aspect of Christ ministry is "to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and day of vengeance of our God". The day will come when Jesus will return to gather His people and reward them for what they suffered on His behalf. Conversely, He will dispense wrath to those who rejected Him. Everyone will receive their just reward, either for good or evil ( Romans 2:5-11). Armed with the knowledge that God offers forgiveness, but that He will eventually punish all evil, enables those who have been hurt to forgive those who hurt them. They realize it is not their responsiblity, or prerogative, to take refenge ( Romans 12:19). Only God can right all wrongs.


MY STORY:
I know that there are several people in my life, who just keep doing wrong things toward me and my family. My flesh just wants to keep getting them back, but as I am not the same person I was 3yrs ago, I have to forgive as Christ forgives us, and let HIM deal with them, and not me. It is so very hard for me, because once someone does something to me or my family, CONSTANTLY, I just want to wash my hands of them. That is where BOUNDARIES come into place. We have to tell them, look, if you cross this boundary then it is time for us to stop talking for awhile, or if you act this way, I am hanging up or something to that effect.

Remember only GOD will right all wrongs, if we do, we are only asking for more trouble.


Be blessed my friends.

Pastor Guido has passed away

Michael Guido, known affectionately around the world as "The Sower" is now in heaven rejoicing with old friends and new acquaintances whom he met for the first time as a result of his life-long ministry. Quietly, after a final, peaceful day in Candler County Hospital, and surrounded by family and friends, he slipped gently and gracefully into the presence of His Lord and Saviour. His life was grounded in a selfless ministry which he shared completely with his beloved Audrey, his wife of sixty-six years. Together they traveled extensively throughout the United States, conducting evangelistic crusades until they were involved in a near-fatal automobile accident. Following a lengthy stay in an Atlanta hospital God moved in their hearts to begin a radio ministry while returning to Metter, Georgia.

From that seemingly simple decision, a radio program is now broadcast on 435 radio stations and has evolved into a television ministry that is carried on one hundred television stations as well as cable and satellite systems and the Armed Forces Radio and Television Network. Each month nearly 32,000 homes receive Sowe r publications, and the popular "Seeds From the Sower" is published in over 1,500 newspapers. Wikipedia states that Metter, Georgia," may best be known as the home of ‘The Sower’ who has delivered short evangelical Public Service Announcements on late-night television shows nationwide for decades. His studios are located at Guido Gardens, where a large holiday light show takes place each Christmas season. The multiple camera angles and delightful introduction music in his commercials are of high acclaim."

Although 94 years old at the time of his death, Mr. Guido was working on three new projects. One was a cartoon strip for children, another was a crisis ministry intervention team that would be available to respond to accidents, natural disasters and emergency situations wherever they occur. However, his most important concern in the last moments of his life was for his Guido Center for Christian Training. He deeply believed that training others to do what he did in ministry and in serving His Lord would be the greatest legacy he could leave. His final vision was to construct a classroom for the Center and name it the Audrey F. Guido Educational Building. In fact, the final prayer that he prayed in public with two of his friends was that "God would give me this mountain to train soul-winners." To accomplish his dream, the Ministry is suggesting that donations to build the facility be made to the Guido Evangelistic Association in lieu of flowers.

There will be a viewing of Dr. Guido in the Hamstra Worship Center on the campus of Guido Gardens on Saturday, February, 28, 2009 from 10:00 a.m. until8:00 p.m. A service of praise and worship for the countless "Friends of the Sower" is scheduled for Sunday, March 1, 2009, at 3:00 p.m. in a tent that will be erected on the Campus. "Mr. Michael" is survived by his wife Audrey and Dr. and Mrs. Lawrence Guido, his brother and "sister-in-love". "Larry" is his successor and the president of the Guido Evangelistic Association.

Healing Part 4 of 6

There is a second way that the enemy keeps us captive. In addition to encouraging addictions that can persist long after people accept Christ, Satan also blinds people to truth, effectively keeping them prisoners of the dark. But Christ wants to release us from the captivity of darkness. This forth aspect of His ministry, "to proclaim release from darkness to the prisoners",is what we will now consider.

Scripture states that Satan has the power to blind unbelievers (2 Corinthians 4:4) and does so very effectively, preventing them from seeing the truth about Christ and His Kingdom. But at salvation, Satan's power to keep people in the dark is removed. In addition to be set free from the dominion of Satan, we are also set free from the darkness of unbelief. Now, we have the capacity to see things clearly.

But Satan's blinding activities continue to exist and can remain effective even after people accept Christ. These activities occur directly through spiritual attacks, and indirectly through a world system of lies that Satan retains control over until Christ returns. These strategies are intended to confuse and mislead Christians, keeping them away from Christ, and in effect, prisoners of the evil one. Over time they evolve into belief systems, strongly held emotional convictions that shape our view of the world, others and ourselves. Though believers now have the capacity to recognize these lies, they often fail to because they have not "trained themselves to discern good from evil". Jesus came to lead us out of the darkness into the light. The light is the truth. It is the truth that sets us free. Part of the process of healing the damages of sin involves increasingly replacing wrong beliefs with the truth.

When I first studied these verses in Isaiah for healing I realized that everyone had all these needs, and were in need of healing in each area. If we are all honest with ourselves, there are things in our lives that we need healing from.

Everyone needs Christ for salvation, and for forgiveness and deliverance from sin. Everyone needs to process unresolved pain and learn how to deal with emotions correctly. Everyone needs God's direction and power to deal with the addictions and unhealthy defense mechanisms they use to deal with pain. Everyone also needs help replacing wrong beliefs with the truth.

Isaiah 61:1-2 describes the recovery Christ brings to all people, and His ministry is designed to provide healing in all areas.

Built into Christ's ministry was a recovery process that heals the damage of sin. During His early ministry, Christ introduced a restorative process that roughly parallels the early stages of human relational/emotional formation identified by many childhood development specialists. This restorative process, carried out into a small group that imitates many of the dynamics of the family-of-origin, provided a safe environment for dealing with wounds and reinforcing the tasks associated with healthy development.

We must remember that Jesus does not deliver us from all of the damage instantaneously. Though forgiveness is granted at the moment of salvation, it may take time for people to fully realize it or appreciate it. The other areas (unresolved pain, addictions, defense mechanisms, and false belief system) may take even longer to correct. In truth, some of these may be so ingrained that we struggle with them for the remainder of our time on earth. But for sustained spiritual growth to occur, we must continue to heal from the damages of sin in these areas.

Pray for Pastor Guido and his wife

Pastor Guido and his wife are very dear loved friends of ours in Metter, Ga. Please join me and others in prayer for them.




February 19, 2009
Dear Friends of Michael and Audrey:
These have been difficult days for each of us who know and love Michael and Audrey. To see, to watch, to learn, to hear that their condition is not improving has been, at times, a real test of my faith. Having been with Michael for these past three years has enabled me to participate in an actual “laboratory offaith” as I observed first hand how a man of complete trust behaves before God.
Having seen God answer his humble and at times halting prayers, having my faith totally challenged by my doubting humanness, bringing seemingly impossible requests to the throne of grace only to learn of a miraculous answer that would be difficult to believe, being with him as he wept for the restoration of his beloved Audrey’s mind, watching him pray with the throngs who filed through the Chapel at Christmas, listening to him preach God’s love while in a state of altered consciousness during a visit to the hospital, I wondered what would be the next phase in the high calling of his life in Christ Jesus…
In His mercy, thankfu lly, He keeps His best from us. Even though I would, at times, have appreciated more “before the fact” announcements from Him informing me of what was about to happen, that has never been His way of managing me. It has always been “wait until you realize that you can do no more, especially in your own strength.”
Yesterday was a particularly hard day. On Tuesday we went with Michael to see his physician. During the examination of his diabetic feet, his congested lungs, his failing vision and hearing, his memory lapses, Dr. Beville said, “It’s time for hospice. There is nothing more that can be done medically except to make him comfortable. His toes are not healing and he may even lose one more. His heart is too weak to do its healing work. I have done all that there can be done medically.”
So I met with the hospice staff that afternoon to learn of their program. Carefully, they explained how they do their “work of compassion”. Each step in the process, how their care was not our giving up or giving in – but for us have their assistance in the decision-making process in a well managed program for additional care. After a lengthy discussion I told them I wanted one more day of prayer before I would make a final decision.
We then met in the morning and I signed the necessary papers and the hospice care began.. But all through the day and night my heart controlled my mind. “Is this your lack of faith and trust? Would Michael have consented if this were you? Did he not want you to take him to a specialist in foot care in Savannah? "Co
uld you take me to Mayo one more time for my vision? Maybe they could do something for my feet.” I slept little during the hours of darkness.
When I awakened this morning the first order of the day was to get a report. It was not a good night for Michael; the pain, the fluid build up, the restlessness. Fortunately, the care giver was able to call hospice for instructions on what medications to give to Michael from those that they had left that afternoon.Thankfully, they enabled Michael to have a night of good rest and sound sleep. I give thanks to God for the decision. It seemed to be a benediction on what I had done.
I have asked our Board of Trustees to meet in Metter thisSunday at 3:00 p.m. to pray for Michael and Audrey. Will you, at this time, join with us to uphold them in His grace, mercy and love and to strengthen them in body and mind.
Thank you, and be blest.
-Larry Guido





www.guidogardens.com

Healing Part 3 of 6

The third aspect of Christ's ministry is " to proclaim freedom to the captives". Through His death and resurrection Christ defeated Satan and set His people free. There are two dimensions that were affected by this liberation. The first deliverance occurred in the spiritual realm and has a spiritual application, the second occurs in everyday life and has a very practical application.

In scripture the spiritual dimension is also referred to as "the invisible realm". Though we can't see this dimension, it is very real and substantial place. In this realm, Christ set us free in a very real and dramatic sense. Scripture asserts emphatically that believers have been "delivered from the dominion of Satan and brought into the Kingdom of God." This deliverance means that Satan no longer has the legal, or moral, right to control or condemn the children of God. We may or may not experience this new freedom, but it remains true and substantive nonetheless. The implications are profound! The Kingdom of God is a place of freedom. We are no longer slaves to sin. (Romans 6:6, John 8:31-36), no longer captives.

But Christ also intends that we experience His freedom in the visible world. It is not enough that we simply understand the truth that the evil one no longer has authority to control and manipulate us, or that indwelling sin no longer dictates our choices. Christ wants us to experience this truth regarding our deliverance in a real and substantial way. There is a practical dimension involved in this deliverance.

Though legally defeated, Satan continues to exert his control over people, holding them captive in two ways. The first way is through the "schemes of the devil", habitual strategies that we embraced in an attempt to offset the effects of sin. They evolve into addictions and defense mechanisms that people use to address unresolved pain. If we continue to use old mechanisms to deal with our pain, rather than rely upon Christ, we remain (literally) in bondage to them, to sin, and to the evil one.
This passage reminds us that Jesus came to set us free from these unhealthy ways of living. Through His guidance and power we can recognize and replace these unhealthy practices with more effective and healthy ways of living.


Don't you want to be released from those things that are holding you back from moving forward in PEACE!!! PEACE<>How amazing would it be to feel TRUE PEACE in our hearts and souls. To live with others in peace and love. To work through all of the old junk, and no longer let that stuff hold us back from an amazing future with blessings and peace. Though it was painful to go through the junk in the past, to go through it and work it out and be released from it FOREVER, would be worth the pain one more time, and to never have to go back to it AGAIN>>>NEVER!!!!!!

MY LIfe:
This is one example of what I was freed from:
Things in my child hood that I held onto or never told anyone about. I carried all of this pain and shame around with me for years. I finally let it out three years ago. I was sexually molested several times when I was very young. I never told. I thought that nobody would believe me, and I felt like the black sheep of my family and did not think that anyone would care. I then went through a Celebrate Recovery class in our church, and with counsel was freed from those feelings. I then with my husband, taught the celebrate recovery class. As I have talked with teens girls that were in the program where my son was to find that almost every one of them had been molested at some point in their life......WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have to work through that junk and be released from Satan's hands. If you carry that around with you and never get freed, it will affect your relationships. So why wait another minute start today..........take the first step in releasing those things today.

If you need someone to pray with you about this, I would love too. Just leave me a comment or email me your number and when to call and I will.

Be blessed today...................

Healing Part 2 of 6

The second part of Christ's ministry is "to bind up the brokenhearted". In this passage, "brokenhearted" refers to people who have been deeply hurt(wounded-in-the-heart) and in need of substantial emotional healing. Taking our hurts directly to Christ promotes healing. He is, after all, a suffering servant who understands our hurts.

Hebrews 4:15-16
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way,just as we are....yet was without sin.

But Christ also means for His church to be a place where healing can occur.

I Corinthians 12:25,26
so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

* What is your response when a fellow Christian is honored? How do you respond when someone is suffering? We are called to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15) Too often, unfortunately, we are jealous of those who rejoice and apathetic (you show no interest)toward those who weep. Believers are in the world together-there is no such thing as private or individualistic Christianity. We should not stop with enjoying only our own relationship with God; we need to get involved in the lives of others.

Wounded people need a safe environment where they feel emotionally protected as they express their hurts and receive validation from caring friends. People need to be able to grieve their losses in the presence of their Lord, and also in fellowship with His people.

24 years ago today........my whole life was changed

It was 24 years to the day that my whole world came crashing down. Life was a challenge as it was. My dad has been remarried for a year, so now I had a new family. I was adjusting to living with a new mom, and 2 step brothers. I grew up with sisters, not brothers. I was in a new town, new neighborhood, new school, new friends, and I had to wear a back brace for my scoliosis. So as you can see I had alot of adjusting to do. Valentine's day had passed a few days before and I had been fighting with my mom. I would go and visit her on the weekends and she had told me that I did not appreciate anything that she had done for me. I bought her a Valentine's card saying " I appreciate all that you do for me". I had no idea that I would never be able to give her that and tell her that I was sorry for being a brat. The phone rang that night and my dad came to my room and said we gotta go right now. I was like "go where, why do we have to go right now? what is wrong?" He would not say a word to me. My neice had gotten hurt a few days before so I thought it was her, since we were heading in the direction of her house (my mom lived that way too). My dad would not let me listen to the radio, and my step mom kept looking in the back seat at me, and it was the longest ride to Clearwater South Carolina, in the silence of the night. We pulled up at my mom's cousins apartment, and my sister lived across the street. I am still thinking something happened to my neice. We walk in and everyone is there and they all had these long faces, and my dad told me to sit down. He said, "Jennifer, there has been an accident today." At that point, I realized my mom was not there and my heart was racing and I had the biggest lump in my throat. He went on, " your mom died today". I lost it. I could not believe that such a thing could happen. WOW!!! I did not see that one coming, I was numb from my head to my feet, and everything became a blur. I was like how did she die, I was given no details at the time. My middle sister had always lived with her dad and did not see my mom much,which is very understandable.

My mom:
She was manic depressive, bi-polar, an alcoholic, and had many men in her life. My parents divorced when I was in the 1st or 2nd grade. I had lived with my dad. My mom was in and out of my life, and refused to take her meds for her depression. She had her highs and lows. On her good days she was the most loving mom a child could want. On her low days, she was your worst enemy. I was always angry at her, you see...........she killed herself. I could never ever understand why she would do such a thing.

My step mom wanted me to get some counseling, but I refused and would tell me dad I was fine. But the truth of the matter, I was not fine. I remember my mom going to counseling, and I thought that if I went, I was saying that I was crazy like her. To be honest, I was dying inside and did not know how to handle it. It changed who I was as a person. Not knowing at that moment that it was going to shape the rest of my life. Up until three years ago. I was in counseling when my son was put in a Christian home for troubled teens. As a family, we had to go to counseling and parenting every week. I learned alot about myself, and all the bad junk I had in me. I had to break generational curses off of my life, and plead the blood of Jesus on my life and my childrens life. I have studied the sickness that she had, and understand now that she was very sick and without the proper meds, she was not herself. I have learned that things in our childhood shape who we are, unless we get help. But its more than getting help, you can go to counseling for years and years, but if you do not apply what they teach you then you will not be freed from your past. I am still working on somethings, and have been freed from alot. I am no longer angry with her. I wish that there were people who would have stepped out of the box to help her. I guess that is why I step out of my box so much and tell my story of my life, in order to help someone else be freed from their past.
I am still a work in progress.
I get very moody this time of year of her death. But I prayed the other day for God to help take away any hold on me during this time.

God has a plan for each of us, none of us are here by mistake. Before she died, she had gotten into church and was baptised. She was trying to living a Christian life, but as we all know when we make a choice to walk with God, Satan will hit us from every corner. We need people there to encourage us in our daily walk, especially as new believers. I want to be that person to help and encourage others in their walk, but make no mistake, I am not perfect either. Only God is perfect, and I will make mistakes still, but I try very hard to live my life according to the Bible.

Healing........ Part 1 of 6

Isaiah 61:1-4

The Year of the LORD's Favor

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners, ^[a]

² to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

Today, this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing, that HIS ministry was designed, at least in part, to bring about healing from emotionally-based problems that result from damages of sin. In these verses, Jesus mentions six components of HIS ministry that relate to healing emotional issues:

1. Proclaim the Good News to the poor.

2. Bind up the brokenhearted.

3. Proclaim freedom to captives.

4. Proclaim release to the prisoners from the darkness.

5. Proclaim the year of the Lord's favor/day of vengeance.

6. To comfort all who mourn.

The first aspect of Christ's ministry that contributes to recovery from "emotional damage" is the Gospel message, or Good News. He proclaimed his love and forgiveness wherever He went, seeking to draw people to Himself for salvation. Becoming a Christian is foundational to the recovery process. Non-believers can heal to some degree, but people can not heal fully until they experience HIS forgiveness and the new birth He offers.

A lack of forgiveness is a root cause of ongoing feelings of condemnation, and detrimental to the recovery process. To fully experience healing, we must receive forgiveness from God, forgive ourselves and forgive others. Jesus' death and resurrection provides the only real basis for substantial forgiveness.

It is not coincidental that God's offer of forgiveness was directed toward the poor. Everyone needs forgiveness, but people who have experienced poverty in any of its forms, are usually more aware of their need for help and forgiveness. The ability to acknowledge and receive forgiveness as a free gift from God through Christ, is the starting point for further recovery.

Treasures in Heaven

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I have read this scripture before. It was not until we went back to our home in Virginia to find it flooded. The hot water pipe busted and our home felt like a sauna. The ceiling fans were drooping down and mold was growing on our furniture. We lost pretty much all of our furniture, TVs, clothing, bedding, personal pictures, and belongings that can never be replaced. We had only been in this home for a month. The house was such a mess, and our child(John 4yrs and Noelani 2yrs) looking around and not understanding why at first they could not come in the house. We had to get the power off to the house and the basement was a foot deep in water. WOW.......that was a shocker. I started cleaning up the next day, and trying to hang onto everything that I could. The next day, my husband told me you can't take that or this, and that was hard. All that I could think about was how hard we worked to have what we had, and how hard it was going to replace all of those things, because of our finances. No mattresses, no bedding, no living room furniture, nothing that we needed to set up a house again. Then, I started thinking that well what is God wanting me to learn from this? To not hold so much value to those material things, that I need to place more value in the Word of God, and to have faith. I need to have faith that God will provide for our needs. HE ALWAYS HAS!!! When it is time to move into a new home, He will provide what we need when we need it. So, I did the hardest thing...............................I walked away...................and left those material things there. We saved what we could and put the rest in storage. I am ready for the next adventure in our life that God is preparing us for...................

When the flood waters come and the storms come crashing in, how do we stand the water? It is really not about he storm, its how we react to the storms, our hearts and our attitudes. I could sit and mope about the lose or I can keep on rejoicing the Lord and know that he will provide ten fold what we lost, if that is HIS will for our family.

Our Attitude

Philippians 2:5
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:


Jesus Christ was humble, willing to give up his rights in order to obey God and serve people. Like Christ, we should have a servant's attitude, serving out of love for God and for others, not out of guilt or fear. Remember, you can choose your attitude. You can approach life expecting to be served, or you can look for opportunity to serve others.

The life of Job..

I was sitting around one day, and thinking of all the things going on in my life at the time. From moving so many times, teenage daughters and their moods, my son living in Kentucky, job changes, climate changes, finding a new church, finding our way in a new place. Then our finances and what our options are and what to do ...............and missing friends............woe is me is what I started feeling, UNTIL...................I started reading the book of Job in the Bible. Our pastor in Raleigh preached on FAITH.........easier to say yes I have faith, then to actually have FAITH in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, especially when things are going south and nothing is going right...............Just reading the first few chapters I picked out some key points and would to show them to you.

* Put the roots of your "faith" down deep into God so that you can withstand any storm you may face.

* If we always knew why we were suffering, our "faith" would have no room to grow.

* We must hold on to our "faith" even if there is no relief.

Job 5:17,18
Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.
For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.

Sometimes we don't know why we suffer, at those times, are we willing to trust God in spite of unanswered questions?
Knowing God is better than knowing answers. Pain is not always punishment.

Stepping out of our comfort zone

For years God has been working on me. He has walked beside me as I go through the healing process of the things of my past. If everyone was open and honest with themselves and others, then they would get healing of their past as well. Everyone has something in their past that is not so pleasant. We are afraid of telling and sharing with others for the judgment they may place on us. But the more these things are brought to the light, that is when the healing begins. We have to step out of our comfort zone and share our experiences with others.

We need to pray for one another everyday. Uplift each other in prayer, and not judge.