I was the little girl.......Part 1

I was the little girl with golden blonde curly hair and a big smile.
I was the little girl who loved to play dress up in her mom and sisters clothes.
I was the little girl who loved being with her family.
I was the little girl who loved being at her grandparents house.
I was the little girl who had big dreams at such a young age.
I was the little girl who cried when we moved away.
I was the little girl who was lost in the world of moving from place to place.
I was the little girl who waited for her mom to get out of bed each day.
I was the little girl who saw her mom and dad hit each other.
I was the little girl who saw her mom throw the wedding ring off the balcony.
I was the little girl who ran down the stairs and searched the grass for it.
I was the little girl who her mom took with her to her boyfriends house.
I was the little girl waiting at lunch for my mom to show, and she never did.
I was the little girl who saw my dad barge into my moms boyfriends apartment.
I was the little girl who was sexually molested at an early age.
I was the little girl who her mom did not want when she left her dad.
I was the little girl who skipped school at an early age.
I was the little girl with no school supplies.
I was the little girl who the kids picked on.
I was the little girl who hated school.
I was the little girl who washed her clothes in the kitchen sink with dish soap.
I was the little girl who ate dinner at night with the landlady.
I was the little girl who was scared and alone.
I was the little girl who did not understand why all the blue lights were in her yard.
I was the little girl who got sent to stay with church friends for the night.
I was the little girl who saw the blood spots on the kitchen floor.
I was the little girl who went to church with no shoes.
I was the little girl who did not understand the grown up world.
I was the little girl whose mom disappeared.
I was the litte girl with her dad and sister back together.
I was the little girl thinking life was getting better.
I was the little girl who moved again.
I was the little girl who fell off the bike and rushed to the hospital.
I was the little girl whose mom could not be found.
I was the little girl who was in ICU.
I was the little girl waiting for her dad to fly home from New York.
I was the little girl scared while her mom was in a bar drunk.
I was the little girl who was molested again.
I was the little girl who moved to live with her grand parents.
I was the little girl who was finally happy.
I was the little girl who was loved unconditionally by her grandmother.
I was the little girl who made friends.
I was the little girl who was finally stable.
I was the little girl whose mom was far away and hardly contacted me.
I was the little girl with dreams again.
I was the little girl square dancing.
I was the little girl going to church.
I was the little girl learning what family really was.
I was the little girl enjoying her life.
I was the little girl learning to bake and cook.
I was the little girl learning to plant a garden.
I was the little girl learning how to can and freeze food from the garden.
I was the little girl who went fishing.
I was the little girl who was molested again.
I was the little girl who moved back home again.
I was the little girl struggling in school and making friends.
I was the little girl who had to wear a back brace for scolosis.
I was the little girl wondering why this was happening.
I was the little girl who became an aunt.
I was the little girl who loved her little neice.
I was the little girl who moved again.
I was the little girl who had a new family now.
I was the little girl with two step brothers.
I was the little girl with a new step mom.
I was the little girl with new grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
I was the little girl whose mom killed herself.
I was the little girl who kept to herself.
I was the little girl who never got counseling in dealing with death of a parent.
I was the little girl who never told of any of the molestation.
I was the little girl nobody understood.
I was the little girl who stayed isolated at home and locked in her room.
I was the little girl who didn't want to be bothered.
I was the little girl who was trying to figure it all out.

What if I gave???

Our pastor preached on this Sunday, and I just had to share this with all of you.

Judges 3:15-30 NIV

One of the points that was made was this:

When you give nothing,
you can expect nothing,
and you'll have nothing.

What if I gave God my heart?
What if I gave God my problems?
What if I gave God my hang ups?
What if I gave God my family?
What if I gave God my finances?
What if I gave God my worship?
What if I gave God something to work with?

We are only hurting ourselves when we don't give to God.

Focus on God in the Storms

I just wanted to share this with everyone. As we were traveling to Florida for work/vacation, it took us 20 long hours. The van camper we were delivering kept breaking down on us, we had no a/c, and did not discover that until we got in Georgia. I had two little ones and our two dogs with us. Then on top of all the trouble to get to our destination, it started storming. It was raining so hard, lighting, and thundering. I do not like those kinds of storms at all. Then as I am driving down I-95 Florida bound, I remembered what our Pastor had said that Sunday. That during our storms we need to not focus on the problems (no a/c, whinning babies, two hot dogs, and the van breaking down), but to focus on HIM in the storm, and He will show you the light at the end of the tunnell. So, I was like ok, God, I am looking straight ahead, as I was driving over the bridges, could not see the car in front of me, and driving towards the lighting bolts. I am focosing on YOU LORD,not my circumstances right now, please get me to the end of this storm safely. Before you knew it the skies opened up and I saw the light past the strom we were driving in. I remind myself of that daily now, that things will work out and not focus on the problem, but focus on God.