Ephesians 4:29 NIV
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Man, this one is hard when someone pushes your buttons or when your child is heading in the wrong direction. You just want to scold them or tell the person off who has offended you. I use to think, why do I have to hold my tongue and not say anything.
I was just sitting here all afternoon trying to write a letter to my 19yr old son who is up North. He has made some bad choices and as a mother I worry about him, then I started beating myself up for where he is and the place he is at in his life right now. Then I got this horrible headache, and I was listening to this song by "December Radio, called Drifter", the words of that song describes my son, and I just cried and cried. Wondering to myself, when God? when is he going to hit rock bottom and understand what he needs to do to turn this all around? I wanted to give him a peace of my mind but at the same time I want to tell him how much I do love him. I love him dearly but do not agree with the choices he has been making. I had to realize I did not make those choices for him. I do not want to beat him down and sound cold. I tore the letter up, and hit my knees and prayed for him. I cried and prayed and cried and prayed. I use to pray for his protection as he was at one point homeless and drifting around. But then it came to me that he is protected by God, but needs to hit rock bottom to come up out of that pit. I pray for whatever it takes Lord to bring him back to you. I decided to try to write this letter again, but to do it according to this scripture. To encourage him and love him as Christ loves me through all of my junk.
Prayer:
Oh Father God, I praise you and worship you with all of my heart. Please forgive me of my sins. I pray for my son, I lift him up to you Lord. I pray for all those parents who have children who are rebelling and just not living the way you would have them. I pray for those teens or even adults Lord that you will do whatever it takes to bring them to you. I pray for the parents to have strength to get through those hard times, to hold fast to this tough love that we must do from time to time, for the kids to have wisdom and open their eyes to be more like you Lord. Help us all to be there for one another and be uplifting and praying for all. Oh, Father God we love you and adore you. Thank you Jesus for all you have done in our lives and all that you have planned for us. Amen.
Lyrics to "Drifter"
I used to have a home
a place I started from
a place to call my own
bright lights and late nights
the devil took me on a midnight ride
left me out in the desert on my own
Now I feel aloneI need a hand to help me find my way back home
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you
lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong
and I've got to get back home to you
sometimes I think about the past the road that I was on
the one that lead me home
I'll walk on another dayI may wonder but I never stray
cause I found out the hard way sin don't pay
Now I feel aloneI need a hand to help me find my way back home
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you
lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong
and I've got to get back home to you
and when I feel the night is closing in
and I can barely breathe the air
I just remember that I've got a friend
who really caresoh who really cares
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you
lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong
and I've got to get back home to you
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Prayer
Ephesians 6:18-20 NIV
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospe, for which I am an ambassador in chains.
How can anyone pray on all occasions? One way is to make quick, brief prayers your habitual response to every situation you meet throughout the day. Another way is to order your life around God's desires and teachings so that your very life becomes a prayer. You don't have to isolate yourself from other peope and from daily work in order to pray constantly. You can make prayer your life and your life a prayer while living in a world that needs God's powerful influence. "Praying for all the saints" means praying for all believers in Christ; so pray for the Chirsitans you know and for the church around the world.
Undiscouraged and undefeated, Paul wrote powerful letters of encouragement from prison. Paul did not ask the Ephesians to pray that his chains would be removed, but tha he would continue to speak fearlessly for Christ in spite of them. God can use us in any circumstance to do his will. Even as we pray for a change in circumstances we should also pray that God will accomplish his plan through us right where we are knowing God's eternal purpose for us will help us through the difficult times.
I aslo find myself writing prayer request down for people in a notebook that I carry everywhere. But the one thing that I am trying to do now, is that when someone ask me to pray for them or for someone else to not just say " ok, I will pray for them", but to say " hey, can we both pray for that right now?" and do it right then.
One of the most amazing man of God, that I was honored to meet prayed all the time, and his story is amazing, that would be Pastor Guido, from Metter Ga. You check out his web site, www.guidogardens.com, and order his book. This is how I learned to try to start praying for everything. But as we all know as life starts going and especially with little ones, we forget or get so caught up.
Let us try today to pray for everything and everyone all day long. Be blessed today.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospe, for which I am an ambassador in chains.
How can anyone pray on all occasions? One way is to make quick, brief prayers your habitual response to every situation you meet throughout the day. Another way is to order your life around God's desires and teachings so that your very life becomes a prayer. You don't have to isolate yourself from other peope and from daily work in order to pray constantly. You can make prayer your life and your life a prayer while living in a world that needs God's powerful influence. "Praying for all the saints" means praying for all believers in Christ; so pray for the Chirsitans you know and for the church around the world.
Undiscouraged and undefeated, Paul wrote powerful letters of encouragement from prison. Paul did not ask the Ephesians to pray that his chains would be removed, but tha he would continue to speak fearlessly for Christ in spite of them. God can use us in any circumstance to do his will. Even as we pray for a change in circumstances we should also pray that God will accomplish his plan through us right where we are knowing God's eternal purpose for us will help us through the difficult times.
I aslo find myself writing prayer request down for people in a notebook that I carry everywhere. But the one thing that I am trying to do now, is that when someone ask me to pray for them or for someone else to not just say " ok, I will pray for them", but to say " hey, can we both pray for that right now?" and do it right then.
One of the most amazing man of God, that I was honored to meet prayed all the time, and his story is amazing, that would be Pastor Guido, from Metter Ga. You check out his web site, www.guidogardens.com, and order his book. This is how I learned to try to start praying for everything. But as we all know as life starts going and especially with little ones, we forget or get so caught up.
Let us try today to pray for everything and everyone all day long. Be blessed today.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Loving Difficult People
I know that everyone, including myself, have someone in our lives whom we find it extremely hard to love a difficult person, especially when they are a Christian as well. I find it hard to understand, why they do certain things, when I know they are in church every week and they know better. I do realize that we are not perfect but we are to strive to be like Christ. I do not understand how a person in your own family can do all that they can to bring destruction to someone else's life. They say that they love you, but in the same turn constantly time after time do things to bring pain and heartache in your life. We have had to learn to place boundaries, and there are consequences for breaking those boundaries. They may not like them, and they make execuses and try to blame it on something else. But we have to protect our family. Being a part of a blended family makes things even more difficult. There is already so much adjusting and changing and learning, the last thing we need is someone to come in and cause more confusion and disstress. With being a blended family, and it is just that blending families and children from other families, others do not understand why you do things a certain way or try to stir up past things. We have stood our ground and have made it this far. Boundaries in all areas of our life are very important. At times it feels like people all around are trying their hardest to break our marriage apart and our childrens lives apart. We have his, mine and ours. We learned from our first marriages, and we refuse to give up on this one and destroy any other lives. We love each other dearly, and have made it through some really tough storms and we will continue to build our home of the foundation of God, we will not be destroyed.
Boundaries can help us define what are our responsibilities, can save us time and energy,
increase our love for others and save our life. We are commanded in the Bible to have
self-control, not other control. We have to take ownership of certain aspects of our lives
that are own responsibilities. We are expected to take responsibility for our own
behaviors, attitude and feelings. Boundaries help us to live and love better.
Boundaries we need to have:
Skin- we are responsible for our bodies, how we take care of them and protecting them
from others. You are separate from others. You will make choices of what your senses
will see, smell, touch, feel and hear. You will decide how you will treat your body with
food, diet and exercise. Victims of physical and sexual abuse have a difficult time with
this as others have invaded their bodies, doing whatever they wanted.
Words- You can protect yourself with the word “no” to pressure to conform to ungodly
ways or control. We are to confront people in love and not be afraid to say, “No, I will
not participate in that”. Many passages of Scripture urge us to say no to others sinful
treatment of us. (See Matt. 18:15-20). Sometimes people with poor boundaries struggle
with saying “no” because they cherish their relationship with that person more than what
is right or wrong. The Bible warns us against giving to others reluctantly or under
compulsion in 2 Cor. 9:7. It is important to let people know where you stand and give
them a sense of the edges that help to identify you from others.
Truth- Knowing the truth from the Bible about God will help you establish boundaries.
God’s truth is to live in accord which makes for a better life (Ps. 119:2,45). Satan is a
great distorter of truth and reality. We may often justify what we do. Eve started to
justify her behavior and made an entire world fall to sin. Honesty about what you hold
important gives you integrity, loyalty and personal strength.
Distance-The Bible says to flee from Satan. Removing yourself from a situation can help
you maintain boundaries. By separating yourself, you may see things more clearly and
that may lead to a change in your behavior (Matt. 18:17). This may be very necessary in
relationships that are abusive, exploitive or emotionally unstable.
Time- Sometimes we need time away from our children, our job or difficult relationships
to get renewed and work on issues. We should not run from our problems but take time to
get recharged to work on them.
Other People- Many people are taught to say “yes” to every need of each person they
meet. They are taught by their church or family that boundaries are un-biblical, mean or
selfish. We need to be able to prioritize our greatest responsibilities and if we cannot help
someone, direct them to someone that can. We need to set limits on our exposure to
people who are behaving poorly. Scripture is full of admonitions to separate ourselves
from people who are acting in destructive ways. We need to set our own internal limits
that says that despite the act, feeling, desire, or impulse, with God’s help we can have
self-control.
Thoughts- We must own our own thoughts. We need to examine our thoughts and
“whatever is good, think on these things.” We have a responsibility to grow spiritually
and in knowledge. Ps. 119:20. We should clarify our distorted thinking if it doesn’t go
along with the Bible.
Desires-We are not to actively seek our own selfish pleasure. Or desire should not to be
to make ourselves rich, powerful, proud or sexy. We need to know God to know what we
should ask for and “he will give you the desires of your heart. Ps. 37:4.
REMEMBER:
• I have the right to define my own physical boundaries
• I have the right to feel comfortable and safe
• I can do what I need to do to keep myself comfortable and safe
• I have the right to ask, expect and insist that others respect my physical
boundaries.
• I choose to spend my time in places and with people that make me fee
comfortable and safe.
• I can protect myself from unwanted closeness and contact by saying no
• I have the right to determine how and by whom I want to be touched.
RESULTS OF NOT SETTING BOUNDARIES
When we do not develop healthy boundaries in childhood, we set up wrong patterns in
our childhood that can last all of our adulthood. Here are some:
• inability to say no to hurtful people or set limits on hurtful behavior from others
• inability to say no to their own destructive impulses
• inability to hear no from others and respect their limits
• inability to delay gratification to accomplish goals and tasks
• tendency to be attracted to irresponsible or hurtful people and try to fix them
• try to take responsibility for other people’s lives
• become romantically involved with someone you feel sorry for
• has difficulty maintaining closeness with others or a commitment to them
• experiences life as a victim instead of living it
• can be easily manipulated or controlled by others so you won’t “hurt” their feelings\
• can find yourself attracted to those who are irresponsible or hurtful and think you can
‘fix’ them
• have addictions and compulsions
• disorganization and lack of follow-through
• has difficulty being honest with those they are close to
Boundaries can prevent many problems with which many adults struggle.
Boundaries can help us define what are our responsibilities, can save us time and energy,
increase our love for others and save our life. We are commanded in the Bible to have
self-control, not other control. We have to take ownership of certain aspects of our lives
that are own responsibilities. We are expected to take responsibility for our own
behaviors, attitude and feelings. Boundaries help us to live and love better.
Boundaries we need to have:
Skin- we are responsible for our bodies, how we take care of them and protecting them
from others. You are separate from others. You will make choices of what your senses
will see, smell, touch, feel and hear. You will decide how you will treat your body with
food, diet and exercise. Victims of physical and sexual abuse have a difficult time with
this as others have invaded their bodies, doing whatever they wanted.
Words- You can protect yourself with the word “no” to pressure to conform to ungodly
ways or control. We are to confront people in love and not be afraid to say, “No, I will
not participate in that”. Many passages of Scripture urge us to say no to others sinful
treatment of us. (See Matt. 18:15-20). Sometimes people with poor boundaries struggle
with saying “no” because they cherish their relationship with that person more than what
is right or wrong. The Bible warns us against giving to others reluctantly or under
compulsion in 2 Cor. 9:7. It is important to let people know where you stand and give
them a sense of the edges that help to identify you from others.
Truth- Knowing the truth from the Bible about God will help you establish boundaries.
God’s truth is to live in accord which makes for a better life (Ps. 119:2,45). Satan is a
great distorter of truth and reality. We may often justify what we do. Eve started to
justify her behavior and made an entire world fall to sin. Honesty about what you hold
important gives you integrity, loyalty and personal strength.
Distance-The Bible says to flee from Satan. Removing yourself from a situation can help
you maintain boundaries. By separating yourself, you may see things more clearly and
that may lead to a change in your behavior (Matt. 18:17). This may be very necessary in
relationships that are abusive, exploitive or emotionally unstable.
Time- Sometimes we need time away from our children, our job or difficult relationships
to get renewed and work on issues. We should not run from our problems but take time to
get recharged to work on them.
Other People- Many people are taught to say “yes” to every need of each person they
meet. They are taught by their church or family that boundaries are un-biblical, mean or
selfish. We need to be able to prioritize our greatest responsibilities and if we cannot help
someone, direct them to someone that can. We need to set limits on our exposure to
people who are behaving poorly. Scripture is full of admonitions to separate ourselves
from people who are acting in destructive ways. We need to set our own internal limits
that says that despite the act, feeling, desire, or impulse, with God’s help we can have
self-control.
Thoughts- We must own our own thoughts. We need to examine our thoughts and
“whatever is good, think on these things.” We have a responsibility to grow spiritually
and in knowledge. Ps. 119:20. We should clarify our distorted thinking if it doesn’t go
along with the Bible.
Desires-We are not to actively seek our own selfish pleasure. Or desire should not to be
to make ourselves rich, powerful, proud or sexy. We need to know God to know what we
should ask for and “he will give you the desires of your heart. Ps. 37:4.
REMEMBER:
• I have the right to define my own physical boundaries
• I have the right to feel comfortable and safe
• I can do what I need to do to keep myself comfortable and safe
• I have the right to ask, expect and insist that others respect my physical
boundaries.
• I choose to spend my time in places and with people that make me fee
comfortable and safe.
• I can protect myself from unwanted closeness and contact by saying no
• I have the right to determine how and by whom I want to be touched.
RESULTS OF NOT SETTING BOUNDARIES
When we do not develop healthy boundaries in childhood, we set up wrong patterns in
our childhood that can last all of our adulthood. Here are some:
• inability to say no to hurtful people or set limits on hurtful behavior from others
• inability to say no to their own destructive impulses
• inability to hear no from others and respect their limits
• inability to delay gratification to accomplish goals and tasks
• tendency to be attracted to irresponsible or hurtful people and try to fix them
• try to take responsibility for other people’s lives
• become romantically involved with someone you feel sorry for
• has difficulty maintaining closeness with others or a commitment to them
• experiences life as a victim instead of living it
• can be easily manipulated or controlled by others so you won’t “hurt” their feelings\
• can find yourself attracted to those who are irresponsible or hurtful and think you can
‘fix’ them
• have addictions and compulsions
• disorganization and lack of follow-through
• has difficulty being honest with those they are close to
Boundaries can prevent many problems with which many adults struggle.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Being in the presence of God
I have been visiting family and friends for awhile now. The most amazing thing today was being at church with my sister. We have not been to church together since we were little girls. It was the most amazing thing to be in the presence of the Lord with my sister. It is the most amazing thing to see people coming to church that you never thought you would see there. To know that God can change each and everyone of us, if we allow HIM to work in our lives. If we give total control, to HIM. To allow HIM to flow through us and to minister to others. Its amazing to look back at my teen age years and early adult hood, along with my friends, and say I thank God I am not who I was back then. We are dancing and singing in the churches together, praising HIS name and giving Glory and Honor to HIM.
Prayer:
Oh Father God, I just take this time right now, to praise you and worship you. I thank you Lord for all your many blessings that you have given me. Father God forgive me of my sins. Help me to be more like you. I thank you for my family and friends. I thank you for all that you have given me, even in the storms of life. God you are far more bigger than my problems and my circumstances and I give them all to you. I know that you can take care of them, and when I put my hands in it, I make a mess. Watch over each and every one of this week. Guides in the direction that you want us, not where we want to go. Guard our mouths against gossip and wrong doing, send those who are in need of good christian friends, bless those struggling with finances, guard our minds and what we put in them this week, heal the sick this week, bring peace to the broken hearted this week. bless those who are less fortunate than us this week, and use those to minister to others this week. Let us all pray for one another to go that extra mile for someone this week. Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus.....Amen.
Prayer:
Oh Father God, I just take this time right now, to praise you and worship you. I thank you Lord for all your many blessings that you have given me. Father God forgive me of my sins. Help me to be more like you. I thank you for my family and friends. I thank you for all that you have given me, even in the storms of life. God you are far more bigger than my problems and my circumstances and I give them all to you. I know that you can take care of them, and when I put my hands in it, I make a mess. Watch over each and every one of this week. Guides in the direction that you want us, not where we want to go. Guard our mouths against gossip and wrong doing, send those who are in need of good christian friends, bless those struggling with finances, guard our minds and what we put in them this week, heal the sick this week, bring peace to the broken hearted this week. bless those who are less fortunate than us this week, and use those to minister to others this week. Let us all pray for one another to go that extra mile for someone this week. Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus.....Amen.
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