Good bye 2012, Hello 2013

Time just keeps slipping by. Second by second. Minute by minute. Hour by hour. Day by day. Week by week. Month by month. Since my last post in August of 2012, life through us a wrench that we were not ready to grab. It makes you stop and thank God for watching over our loved ones in times of need. When we are busy in our lives, God is there watching over others. When we are not with them, HE is there. On September 18, 2012 my husband was on his way home from Hershey, Pa at a RV show, he was just inside of New York, and about an hour and a half from home. I had spoken to him 8 minutes before OUR lives changed that day, and things will never be the same again. He wrecked. I got a call from the EMT telling me my husband had been in a car wreck. My heart sank deep into my chest. I could not breathe, I could not think. Was he alive, what happened? I panicked. He said he just has a broke leg, I was so freaking out that they put him on the phone with me. My husband being my husband would not let me know if things were worst. We hung up and I was making phone calls to the few people I knew in New York, we had not been here long. The kids had just started school like 2 weeks when this took place. I had to drive 2 hrs to Sayra Pa, to the trauma center. It was cold, rainy, and foggy. I am thinking ok, I will drive down pick him up. Its just a broke leg, they will have him in a cast ready to come home by the time I get there. At least that is what I am thinking the whole 2 hrs of being alone. No family here and hanging onto the mercy of others I just met in July.  I was into the ER and life just stood still. I saw my husband laying in this bed. His arms, his legs, his face, his hands all bloody. His left side of his face swollen bloody, gashes everywhere. I was shown his ex rays of his broken femur. I was told he is going to have to have surgery. The surgery will take about 4 hours. I had to put on my big girl pants in front of my husband. I could not show any fear. I have to be the strong one. I was with him until they rolled him into surgery. I walked to my car and just broke down. I prayed to God to help me through this because I was so afraid. My children are going to be picked up from home and I am not there, they knew dad was coming home today and he is not there. I need strength and help through this. Tracy has always been the strong one, and got our family through things. Now, its all on my shoulders, and I just wanted to sit and cry. I had nobody there with me. I was all alone in a strange town and my kids were 2 hours away with no idea of how our lives have just changed.

We moved....

Well, once again we have moved locations. We are now living in Victor NY. We moved here in June 2012. Just a few weeks back, I decided I had to meet friends and so off to church we went. I have met some pretty amazing people at church. We went to Victor Community Church. They have an amazing childrens leader and program. JAM city kids. Love it, and John and Noelani love it as well. Krista our oldest daughter and her husband Justin had their first baby on Sat. July 28. We welcome baby Jaxon Kidder Harrison. We take our son, Luke, back next and we get to see our grandson. WOW!! Where does the time go? I believe that NY is a time and place for healing and restoration for our family. We have been through so much in the past 10 years. It is time for PEACE and HAPPINESS in our lives.

Long time, no blog!

It has been several years I see since I have done anything with my blog. Time flies, doesn't it? I guess sharing the story of my life, it took alot out of me, and so many things have been going in my life in these past several years. I have decided to PUSH on through these TRIALS and STORMS in my life. I have finally found a CHURCH HOME!! I am stepping back out of the box, and trying to get my life back on track with God and my home. Of course, dont you know that just as soon as you do that, the devil is waiting around the corner to start throwing things at you, to make you second guess yourself and your worth. I sadly have to admit that he got me a few times, but I am climbing up out of that hole now, and I refuse to let him win!!! I have been reading T.D.Jakes 365 day devotional and journal called Healing, Blessings and Freedom. WOW! what an eye opener and heart touching. I was reminded these things: Temporary setbacks create opportunities for fresh commitment and renewal. So true. I know what my calling is, but I dont jump and do it when God tells me the first time, so as we sit back and DO NOTHING, the thing you know you are to be doing, someone else gets the opportunity dropped on them, and unlike me, they took it and ran with it. I sit back and get angry! But reminded, it was there for me, but DID NOTHING~~ I guess, God needs to work on some more areas of my life.

I am the little girl........Part 3

I am the little girl who is loving life, even in the storms.
I am the little girl who has BIG dreams AGAIN.
I am the little girl who has moved alot.
I am the little girl who believes we are in places for a season.
I am the little girl with every move has taken something positive with it.
I am the little girl who has been freed and healed from all the molestation.
I am the little girl whose life has been changed because of God.
I am the little girl who has learned to put God first in my life.
I am the little girl that God loves unconditionally.
I am the little girl who is so glad that I am NOT who I was years ago.
I am the little girl who God healed in every area of my life.
I am the little girl who God is still working on things in my life.
I am the little girl who has overcome her past and still working on things.
I am the little girl wo is no longer afraid.
I am the little girl whose life is an open book.
I am the little girl who loves to minister to others.
I am the little girl who prays for her family and friends daily.
I am the little girl who still struggles with things, but thanks God for giving me the strength to overcome.
I am the little girl whose kids do not like that I have set boundaries for myself.
I am the little girl whose kids do not always agree with things that I do.
I am the little girl who will not allow others to walk all over her AGAIN.
I am the little girl who loves all 9 of our kids unconditionally, regardless of their feelings for me from time to time.
I am the little girl with peace in her heart.
I am the little girl who does not care what other people think when I share the good,bad, ugly and things I do not wat to share of my past.
I am the little girl who God said to share those things.
I am the little girl who is real, and if everyone is honest with themselves, know that they have things like that in their life too.
I am the little girl who is stepping out of denial and into God's grace.
I am the little girl who has recovered from her past hurts and failures.
I am the little girl dancing and singing in the living room PRAISING GOD!!
I am the little girl who has been healed by His stripes.
I am the little girl thanking God for all of His blessings.
GLORY BE TO GOD!!!
I am the little girl thanking

I was the little girI................Part 2

I was the little girl who was looking for love in all the wrong places.
I was the little girl who was lost in this big world.
I was the little girl who was confused.
I was the little girl who kept all things to herself.
I was the little girl who almost got molested AGAIN.
I was the little girl who had so much anger.
I was the little girl who lost all dreams.
I was the little girl who wanted to run and never come back.
I was the little girl having a baby.
I was the little girl caught up in an abusive relationship.
I was the little girl who got her heart broke time and time again.
I was the little girl who left so many times, but always went back.
I was the little girl walking down the aisle for the wrong reasons.
I was the little girl who aborted a baby.
I was the little girl who could not deal with the pain of what she did.
I was the little girl drinking and partying to kill the pain.
I was the little girl who left again.
I was the little girl trying to move on without him.
I was the little girl who faught to keep her daughter.
I was the little girl sitting in jail.
I was the little girl feeling all alone and nobody to turn to.
I was the little girl so scared and confused.
I was the little girl trying to get my little girl back.
I was the little girl who went back, because I was too afraid and scared to fight any more.
I was the little girl who just wanted to be loved.
I was the little girl who wanted to feel important.
I was the little girl getting high and living for herself.
I was the little girl who tried to bury the paint AGAIN.
I was the little girl getting hit.
I was the little girl being put down.
I was the little girl who thought she was not worthy of anything.
I was the little girl who was sick and tired of being mistreated.
I was the little girl who left for good.
I was the little girl who made alot of foolish mistakes.
I was the little girl who never got counsel for all the pain and hurt inside.
I was the little girl carrying all this baggage everywhere she went.
I was the little girl who lost her daughter.
I was the little girl who was tricked again.
I was the little girl walking down the aisle again.
I was the little girl who was happy.
I was the little girl enjoying life again.
I was the little girl who thought she had finally seen the light.
I was the little girl who was back in church again.
I was the little girl who had another baby.
I was the little girl whose family fell apart again.
I was the little girl who had to make the hardest decision ever.
I was the little girl who put her son in a Christian home for troubled teens.
I was the little girl scared again and afraid.
I was the little girl sitting in the counselors office going through her past after 36 years of pain and hurt.
I was the little girl going through a Celebrate Recovery class.
I was the little girl going to Christian parenting classes every week for almost 3yrs.
I was the little girl who was in Christian counseling every week for almost 3yrs.
I was the little girl clinging to the throne.
I was the little girl praying for her family.
I was the little girl finally telling the family of all the molestion.
I was the little girl finally getting freed.
I was the little girl finally getting healed from old wounds.
I was the little girl putting all her faith in God.
I was the little girl pouring her heart out week after week.
I was the little girl feeling the relief, that I was not alone.

I was the little girl.......Part 1

I was the little girl with golden blonde curly hair and a big smile.
I was the little girl who loved to play dress up in her mom and sisters clothes.
I was the little girl who loved being with her family.
I was the little girl who loved being at her grandparents house.
I was the little girl who had big dreams at such a young age.
I was the little girl who cried when we moved away.
I was the little girl who was lost in the world of moving from place to place.
I was the little girl who waited for her mom to get out of bed each day.
I was the little girl who saw her mom and dad hit each other.
I was the little girl who saw her mom throw the wedding ring off the balcony.
I was the little girl who ran down the stairs and searched the grass for it.
I was the little girl who her mom took with her to her boyfriends house.
I was the little girl waiting at lunch for my mom to show, and she never did.
I was the little girl who saw my dad barge into my moms boyfriends apartment.
I was the little girl who was sexually molested at an early age.
I was the little girl who her mom did not want when she left her dad.
I was the little girl who skipped school at an early age.
I was the little girl with no school supplies.
I was the little girl who the kids picked on.
I was the little girl who hated school.
I was the little girl who washed her clothes in the kitchen sink with dish soap.
I was the little girl who ate dinner at night with the landlady.
I was the little girl who was scared and alone.
I was the little girl who did not understand why all the blue lights were in her yard.
I was the little girl who got sent to stay with church friends for the night.
I was the little girl who saw the blood spots on the kitchen floor.
I was the little girl who went to church with no shoes.
I was the little girl who did not understand the grown up world.
I was the little girl whose mom disappeared.
I was the litte girl with her dad and sister back together.
I was the little girl thinking life was getting better.
I was the little girl who moved again.
I was the little girl who fell off the bike and rushed to the hospital.
I was the little girl whose mom could not be found.
I was the little girl who was in ICU.
I was the little girl waiting for her dad to fly home from New York.
I was the little girl scared while her mom was in a bar drunk.
I was the little girl who was molested again.
I was the little girl who moved to live with her grand parents.
I was the little girl who was finally happy.
I was the little girl who was loved unconditionally by her grandmother.
I was the little girl who made friends.
I was the little girl who was finally stable.
I was the little girl whose mom was far away and hardly contacted me.
I was the little girl with dreams again.
I was the little girl square dancing.
I was the little girl going to church.
I was the little girl learning what family really was.
I was the little girl enjoying her life.
I was the little girl learning to bake and cook.
I was the little girl learning to plant a garden.
I was the little girl learning how to can and freeze food from the garden.
I was the little girl who went fishing.
I was the little girl who was molested again.
I was the little girl who moved back home again.
I was the little girl struggling in school and making friends.
I was the little girl who had to wear a back brace for scolosis.
I was the little girl wondering why this was happening.
I was the little girl who became an aunt.
I was the little girl who loved her little neice.
I was the little girl who moved again.
I was the little girl who had a new family now.
I was the little girl with two step brothers.
I was the little girl with a new step mom.
I was the little girl with new grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
I was the little girl whose mom killed herself.
I was the little girl who kept to herself.
I was the little girl who never got counseling in dealing with death of a parent.
I was the little girl who never told of any of the molestation.
I was the little girl nobody understood.
I was the little girl who stayed isolated at home and locked in her room.
I was the little girl who didn't want to be bothered.
I was the little girl who was trying to figure it all out.

What if I gave???

Our pastor preached on this Sunday, and I just had to share this with all of you.

Judges 3:15-30 NIV

One of the points that was made was this:

When you give nothing,
you can expect nothing,
and you'll have nothing.

What if I gave God my heart?
What if I gave God my problems?
What if I gave God my hang ups?
What if I gave God my family?
What if I gave God my finances?
What if I gave God my worship?
What if I gave God something to work with?

We are only hurting ourselves when we don't give to God.

Focus on God in the Storms

I just wanted to share this with everyone. As we were traveling to Florida for work/vacation, it took us 20 long hours. The van camper we were delivering kept breaking down on us, we had no a/c, and did not discover that until we got in Georgia. I had two little ones and our two dogs with us. Then on top of all the trouble to get to our destination, it started storming. It was raining so hard, lighting, and thundering. I do not like those kinds of storms at all. Then as I am driving down I-95 Florida bound, I remembered what our Pastor had said that Sunday. That during our storms we need to not focus on the problems (no a/c, whinning babies, two hot dogs, and the van breaking down), but to focus on HIM in the storm, and He will show you the light at the end of the tunnell. So, I was like ok, God, I am looking straight ahead, as I was driving over the bridges, could not see the car in front of me, and driving towards the lighting bolts. I am focosing on YOU LORD,not my circumstances right now, please get me to the end of this storm safely. Before you knew it the skies opened up and I saw the light past the strom we were driving in. I remind myself of that daily now, that things will work out and not focus on the problem, but focus on God.

A Hunger for God

The church we went to in Raleigh NC, the pastor does a blog and with his permission I am posting this from his blog.......be blessed.........



Friday, May 29, 2009

A Hunger for His Presence
Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy (1 Corinthians 14:1). Dear brothers and sisters, be patient as you wait for the Lord's return. Consider the farmers who patiently wait for the rains in the fall and in the spring. They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen (James 5:7- NLT) Ask the Lord for rain in the time of the latter rain. The Lord will make flashing clouds; He will give them showers of rain, Grass in the field for everyone (Zechariah 10:1).I want to bear my heart to you today. I have been baptized with the Holy Spirit now for thirty two years and eight months. When I was first Spirit-filled, there was a great outpouring of the Spirit on the denominational world. A genuine hunger for God was evident. The Charismatic movement was in full manifestation. In the church I attended after being Spirit-baptized, the Holy Spirit would manifest time and time again in the services. Those oppressed by demons would cry out in the service due to the manifest presence of God! Many, many were born again and Spirit-filled. It’s the closest thing to revival that I’ve ever personally been a part of. I long for that again! As Kenneth Hagin said many years ago, Once you get a taste of the Spirit of God, nothing else can satisfy. Now, thirty plus years later, it seems as though we’ve become sated and satisfied. The intense hunger is not what it once was (I’m speaking in generalities here). We’re saturated with teaching, with vibrant Christian music in every genre imaginable. Charismatic churches have sprung up everywhere! Christian programming is abundant on TV and radio, and now the internet is filled with religious content, if you want it! This is wonderful. But, my heart craves the Presence! It craves the deep moving of the Holy Spirit that creates a Holy hush and a deep, penetrating conviction of heart. In the first Bible School I attended, scheduled between some of our classes we would have a devotional time of worship with someone then sharing a scripture. Many times, the Holy Spirit would settle upon us while we were worshipping, and, before you know it, the whole class was prostrate on the floor while the deep, penetrating Presence of a Holy God swept over us. The Holy hush of the moment deeply affect all us former hippies and drug addicts! God was working on us inside and talking to each of us personally in these moments about motives, attitudes, and habits of the flesh and mind. He was moving us towards Himself and creating change deep within.The Father wants these corporate moments with us now where His Presence supersedes everything! Are we willing to change to foster this? The challenge I have is that I preach three services every single weekend because we’ve outgrown our facility. I have to be careful of the children’s workers who are in the back, and of time in general, especially on Sunday mornings. All the while, the Father wants to woo us into deep, heartfelt times of intimacy.Let me suggest some things. If you attend Victory Fellowship, or really, regardless of where you attend church, begin now to cry out for more of God! Ask Him to create in you a hunger for Himself that eclipses everything else in life. Ask Him to breed in you dissatisfaction with everything in your life that has become a spiritual weight. Then, ask the Father to manifest His heavy, weighty, Holy Presence among us in our church services. The truth is, when He shows up in this way, nothing else matters.If you’re attending a church that is not open to the moving of the Spirit, find one that is! If you attend Victory, cry out with me for an all encompassing move of God among us that cuts through the surface things and reaches the heart! As the beginning scripture says, Ask the Lord for rain in the time of the latter rain. This is asking the Lord for a fresh moving of His Spirit! Then, before you attend a church service, prepare your heart. Get up early enough, or get away enough before a service that you can wait in God’s Presence alone before you come to the church meeting. Ask Him to manifest. Tell Him that you personally long for Him. Ask Him to reveal Himself to each person. Then, wait quietly a while. Then, as you come into the service, expect Him to manifest Himself. I believe He will meet us all in our hunger! Let’s expect Him to do it!
Posted by Pastor Mitch

1 Peter 5:6-11

1 Peter 5:6-11 NIV

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. AMen.

God is able and willing to bless us according to his timing. Humbly obey God regardless of present circumstances, and in his good time either in this life or in the next he will lift you up. Carrying your worries, stresses and daily struggles by yourself shows that you have not trusted God fully with your life. It takes humility, however, to recognize that God cares, to admit your need, and to let others in God's family help you. Sometimes we think that struggles caused by our own sin and foolishness are not God's concern. But when we turn to God in repentance, he will beat the weight even of those struggles. Letting God have your anxieties calls for action, not passivity. Don't submit to circumstances, but to the Lord who controls circumstances.

Lions attack sick, young and straggling animals, they choose victims who are alone or not alert. Peter warns us to watch out for Satan when we are suffering or being persecuted. Feeling alone, weak, helpless, and cut off from other believers, so focused on our troubles that we forget to watch out for danger, we are especially vulnerable to Satan's attacks. During times of suffering, seek other Christians for support. Keep your eyes on Christ, and resist the devil. Then says James "he will flee from you" ( James 4:7)

When we are suffering , we often feel as though our pain will never end. Peter gave these faithful Christians the wider perspective, in comparison with eternity, their suffering would last only "a little while". Some of Peter's readers would be strengthened and delivered in their own lifetimes. Others would be released form their suffering through death. All of God's faithful followers are assured eternal life with Christ where there will be no suffering. (Rev. 21:4)

The time is coming......

God has been preparing me and my heart for what is about to happen for several years now. God has taken me back through my past and has healed me from so many things. During this time I have been through alot and learned alot. I went through a Celerate Recovery Class and then ended up teaching the Celebrate Recovery class with my husband. Along with counseling and parenting classes at the Christian Home for Troubled teens where my son was for several years. I had the most amazing counselor, he helped our marriage and with healing of old wounds. He is an amazing man of God. I told my story of my life to the group of ladies in the class that I was teaching. It was very hard because I was opening my whole life up to be judged by them. I shared with them the good, bad, ugly and the things you do not want anyone to know about you. God had put it in my heart to share that because I really wanted these ladies to experience the freeing God can do from your past.......the healing that He can do, no matter your past. I wanted them to get real in their recovery process and I had to be bold and go first. When I did that it opened up doors and they got it. I was still a work in progress and I felt like God wanted me to do a Bible study group at home with some ladies from church. But I had never been to a bible study before what do I know about doing one. But because I was working on things of my past and feeling more and more alive I wanted to share that and help others experience the same freedom from the bondage. I had so many different ideas of what I wanted to do and things to say, but I never pursued it. Then we moved and I had to change churches and I did not know anyone, so how could I have womens group and I did not know anyone. Then we moved to Raleigh NC, then we moved to Salem Va, then we ended up back in Florida because our house flooded. I was staying with a lady that would never come to our class and I wanted to reach out and a few others that had left the church, and I had heard of Breaking Free by Beth Moore, and I thought I was suppose to get some ladies I knew and do that study. But not only was it too expensive for me to buy at the time, I did not have that kind of time and weeks to spend in Florida to do that. So I just forgot about it. Then I was blessed to spend some time with an old dear friend and go to church with her family and fellowship with her. Then something told me, maybe it was there in Augsusta I was suppose to do this, but what can I do in a day, I dont live here and I can't stay for weeks to do an actual study. I just put it in the back of my mind and went on. Then we are back in Virgina getting settled in our new home. I talked with several people and still going through some healing of old wounds that I did not know was there and one night it hit me like a ton of bricks. I finally knew the answer after over 2yrs of being prepared by God.
It was not the place I thought it was suppose to be, it was not the bible study I thought it should be, it was not with the ladies that I thought it was suppose to be............it is suppose to be in Augusta, my story, with people from my past........................at first I did not know whom I was to invite and still not fully sure of all. These people were a part of my past, but they were not a part of the pain or heart ache. They knew me then, and they know me now or a little bit of me now.
When God is in control things fall in place. My plan.......said "ok, Augusta, ok ladies, NO WAY TO THE SUBJECT"..............some know part of my story, some know none, and alot I have never ever told. There is healing when we bring those things out of the dark and expose them to the light. The more you tell the more healing. God has not called us all to go public with our life story. But if he calls you do to it, you better get prepared.

Proverbs 13:20 NIV

Proverbs 13:20 NIV
He who walks with wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Since you can not please everyone, you are better off trying to please God. You make choices, and pretty soon those choices begin to shape your life. That's why you must make smart choices......or face the consequences of making dumb ones.

It is hard to walk away from old friends, old habits for the fear of being alone. Once you have made up your mind that you would rather "WALK WITH GOD", instead of walking in the flesh. Some people will not get you. They will put you down, because they knew you when. Have no fear, for God has forgiven us our sins, and remembers them no more. You may change everything about the way you live and they will not understand or think you are using God or church as a crutch. Do not be discouraged my friends. Once we make a choice to put "GOD FIRST" in everything in our lives things will take form. We need to be spiritually full and God will walk along side of you during the storm.

I know my old friends and people in my past, say "she has not changed" and some will say "she has not changed". There are those who still can push my buttons and steal my joy. But like a friend said " don't let them steal your joy, they didn't give it to you". How true is that? I am still a work in progress and God is opening my eyes to so many things. Right now in this season of my life, God is taking me back to places I never wanted to go back, but in the process I am being healed from old wounds,things and people I never thought I would have to see or deal with again. Healing me in areas of my life that I did not even know I needed healing from. He is using me and my "life experiences" to minister to others, especially the ones in my past.

It is so wonderful an awesome to hear and see so many people have turned their lives over to God. Praise you Jesus for that. I know life is hard at times especially when you are wanting to change and others want to stay right where they are and have been for years. I encourage you all to cling to God's promises and he will bless you. When you are low and down and out call out to him, talk to him, tell him the desires of your heart.

I pray for each and everyone of you. I will be in much prayer for all of my friends and their needs. There is so much prayer that needs to happen. Just pray, pray, like the saying goes.......PUSH........pray until something happens.

Be blessed me friends.....

Remember this....

When you say, "I can't do this or I can't solve this",

God tells you, " I will direct your pateh". Proverbs 3:5-6



When you say, " I don't know how to go on",

God tells you, " I will show you the path". Psalms 32:8

Are you weary and burdened?

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

A yoke is a heavy wooden harness that fits over the shoulders of an ox or oxen. It is attached to a piece of equipment the oxen are to pull. A person may be carrying heavy burdens of (1) sin (2) excessive demands of religious leaders (3) oppression and persecution or (4) weariness in the search for God.

Jesus frees people from all these burdens. The rest that Jesus promises is love, healing and peace with God, not the end of all labor. A relationship with God changes meaningless, wearisome toil into spiritual productivity and purpose.

Getting Even??

1 Thessalonians 5:15
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

1 Thessalonians 5:22
Avoid every kind of evil.

Ephesians 4:29-32
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

This is the one that summons it all up the best. I know it is so hard to hold your tongue when you feel someone has wronged you. We are going through a situation right now concerning our in laws and ex's. Its really hard when they push your buttons and use your children to get to you. It is sad when this happens.

Be careful in how you handle yourself. Watch your words, hit your knees and give the situation to God.

Romans 12: 17-21
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written, " It is mine to avenge: I will repay, says the Lord. On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him,
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink,
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Not Easily Broken

Last night my husband and I watched that movie, Not Easily Broken. If you have not seen it, be prepared to cry and be touched in so many different ways. I will not give away the movie to those who have not seen it. Life can throw some blows and it seems if there is no way out. I know our family has been through so much in the past year. We are in Raleigh NC right now, we getting some of our things out of storage and heading to our new place in Virginia. We were actually living here this time last year without a dime to our name. We were so broke we could not "pay" attention. Our church helped us with some things, a friend helped us with some bills. It was our "Faith" that kept us from falling totally apart. Even though things did not work out in this town for us, we found an amazing church and learned so much and I still stay connected to that. We have our own motorhome now and doing well working for our selves now. God has brought us a long long way since this time last year.
I really am so blessed to have such an amazing husband and he is also my best friend. He is an amazing father as well.
Neither of us are perfect, but we try to do our best and change those nasty generational curses that our families bring us. We bind them up in the name of Jesus. We will start a new generation. We will make a difference. We will not be "Easily broken", no matter what this world throws our way.

God is AWESOME!!!

You know sometimes life can just get a hold of you and people can try to tear you down and your relationship with others. People come at you in all directions, doing everything they can to make your life difficult and painful. What hurts me the most is when the people who do this are "CHRISTIANS". That is what really blows my mind. I wonder what Bible are they reading because I know mine says not to do the things that they are doing. Yes, I know that nobody is perfect and we all slip up and make mistakes, but years and years of doing the same thing you have to stop and wonder what their motive is behind the maddess they try to create. It is during that time, I just stop and ask God to protect me from the evil ones and help them see that their ways are wrong. I also pray that God show me areas that I need to change and improve as well. We are to love one another and respect each other, but how we forget to do that when we become angry. Our words are powerful and we really need to watch what we say when we are mad and upset. I know it is hard to do that when people are always trying to pull your family apart or just you as an individual. But that is where boundaries are so important, if it is our family that does this to us, we can still love them, but a distance. Friendships?? well, you have to decide if it is a healthy one or not. We can not divorce our families but we can make boundaries when it comes to them. I have seen and learned over the years that just because we are in church everytime the doors open, does not mean we are living our lives according to the word of God. You can go to counsel all your life but if you do not apply what you learn you will not get healed. Some people still hold grudges about others and still have so much anger towards them and that past relationship. You need to let those things go and let God heal those old wounds, so that you can move forward in God's peace and perfect will for your life.

Spring Break 2009

We had an amazing Spring Break in Florida. We had 6 of our 9 kids. It is tough when we do not have all of our children with us during holidays and family time. But as the children get older we have to adjust to not always having all of them at one time. We started out driving our RV to Virginia to pick up 4 for of our kids. We made a pit stop at the drag strip to see my daughter, Emily, run her first race of the season. She had no clue that we were coming to see her. She drives a jr dragster and I was so amazed watching her shine. We left from there and continued our journey back to Tampa. We had to go see my father in law who was in the hospital. We wanted to take a vacation with the kids but due to father in law being in hospital, we decided to do Busch Garden passes. We had not taken the children to Busch Gardens in almost 7 years when we got married. We would go early in the morning to ride the rides before it got crowded and would have to wait 2hrs to ride one ride. We also took them to the beach and of course they could swim at the pool and they went with me to the gym. We had to cut our time short and head north to get the kids back home for practice they were in the Easter play at their church. They had rehearsal on Saturday night. We went to church with them on Sunday morning. The play was amazing and the kids were incrediable in it. We then took them to see our house we are moving into in May. We also had to finish the gift they got for their mom for her birthday that was during the time they were with us. We had a great visit and even enjoyed talking and being around their mom. It is amazing what God can do in our lives if we allow him.

We thank you Lord for providing the means to have a vacation with our children, for having the money to take care of our bills and all of our financial obligations. We praise You and Worship you Lord.

Ephesians 4:29

Ephesians 4:29 NIV
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Man, this one is hard when someone pushes your buttons or when your child is heading in the wrong direction. You just want to scold them or tell the person off who has offended you. I use to think, why do I have to hold my tongue and not say anything.

I was just sitting here all afternoon trying to write a letter to my 19yr old son who is up North. He has made some bad choices and as a mother I worry about him, then I started beating myself up for where he is and the place he is at in his life right now. Then I got this horrible headache, and I was listening to this song by "December Radio, called Drifter", the words of that song describes my son, and I just cried and cried. Wondering to myself, when God? when is he going to hit rock bottom and understand what he needs to do to turn this all around? I wanted to give him a peace of my mind but at the same time I want to tell him how much I do love him. I love him dearly but do not agree with the choices he has been making. I had to realize I did not make those choices for him. I do not want to beat him down and sound cold. I tore the letter up, and hit my knees and prayed for him. I cried and prayed and cried and prayed. I use to pray for his protection as he was at one point homeless and drifting around. But then it came to me that he is protected by God, but needs to hit rock bottom to come up out of that pit. I pray for whatever it takes Lord to bring him back to you. I decided to try to write this letter again, but to do it according to this scripture. To encourage him and love him as Christ loves me through all of my junk.

Prayer:
Oh Father God, I praise you and worship you with all of my heart. Please forgive me of my sins. I pray for my son, I lift him up to you Lord. I pray for all those parents who have children who are rebelling and just not living the way you would have them. I pray for those teens or even adults Lord that you will do whatever it takes to bring them to you. I pray for the parents to have strength to get through those hard times, to hold fast to this tough love that we must do from time to time, for the kids to have wisdom and open their eyes to be more like you Lord. Help us all to be there for one another and be uplifting and praying for all. Oh, Father God we love you and adore you. Thank you Jesus for all you have done in our lives and all that you have planned for us. Amen.


Lyrics to "Drifter"



I used to have a home
a place I started from
a place to call my own
bright lights and late nights
the devil took me on a midnight ride
left me out in the desert on my own
Now I feel aloneI need a hand to help me find my way back home
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you
lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong
and I've got to get back home to you
sometimes I think about the past the road that I was on
the one that lead me home
I'll walk on another dayI may wonder but I never stray
cause I found out the hard way sin don't pay
Now I feel aloneI need a hand to help me find my way back home
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you
lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong
and I've got to get back home to you
and when I feel the night is closing in
and I can barely breathe the air
I just remember that I've got a friend
who really caresoh who really cares
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
trying to find my way back home to get to you, oh to get to you
lord I've been gone for far too long headed to places I don't belong
and I've got to get back home to you

Prayer

Ephesians 6:18-20 NIV
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospe, for which I am an ambassador in chains.

How can anyone pray on all occasions? One way is to make quick, brief prayers your habitual response to every situation you meet throughout the day. Another way is to order your life around God's desires and teachings so that your very life becomes a prayer. You don't have to isolate yourself from other peope and from daily work in order to pray constantly. You can make prayer your life and your life a prayer while living in a world that needs God's powerful influence. "Praying for all the saints" means praying for all believers in Christ; so pray for the Chirsitans you know and for the church around the world.

Undiscouraged and undefeated, Paul wrote powerful letters of encouragement from prison. Paul did not ask the Ephesians to pray that his chains would be removed, but tha he would continue to speak fearlessly for Christ in spite of them. God can use us in any circumstance to do his will. Even as we pray for a change in circumstances we should also pray that God will accomplish his plan through us right where we are knowing God's eternal purpose for us will help us through the difficult times.

I aslo find myself writing prayer request down for people in a notebook that I carry everywhere. But the one thing that I am trying to do now, is that when someone ask me to pray for them or for someone else to not just say " ok, I will pray for them", but to say " hey, can we both pray for that right now?" and do it right then.

One of the most amazing man of God, that I was honored to meet prayed all the time, and his story is amazing, that would be Pastor Guido, from Metter Ga. You check out his web site, www.guidogardens.com, and order his book. This is how I learned to try to start praying for everything. But as we all know as life starts going and especially with little ones, we forget or get so caught up.

Let us try today to pray for everything and everyone all day long. Be blessed today.